"Big Brother 8," Tuesday, Aug. 14, 2007

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, blog readers of all ages, I’ve just finished watching tonight’s episode of "Big Brother 8," and all I can say is it’s going to be a "Two T" night (that’s tea and Tylenol) if I’m going to have to rewatch this episode again.

But that comes with the territory of being a "Big Brother" blogger. So, let’s get to it:

After the obligatory recap, we (or should I say, CBS and "Big Brother") open the episode on Day 42 in the house.

"Right now the goal is to push Daniele forward in the game," says Dick. "The group will have one of us go home. I’m going to try to do everything I can to make it me." Why do I have the feeling Dick means what he says? (Aside from the fact that I’ve already watched the episode and I know exactly what he's going to do …)

"I hate fake people. I hate liars. Ahhhhh!! It’s hard, it’s so hard. This is a rough, rough place to be in," exclaims Daniele. And you were expecting truthful, honest players to occupy the "Big Brother" house, Daniele? Haven’t you watched this show before?

Says Jessica, "A lot of people would be very upset if Dick stayed. I wouldn’t. Because Dick is going to go after a lot more people than me. I would love for Daniele to go home this week."

Jessica and Jameka are talking in the Head of Household room, when they are joined by Eric, who is happy both Dick and Daniele are on the chopping block. Regardless of who wins the Power of Veto, Eric says, either Dick or Daniele is going home.

Daniele says her problem is she’s not a good enough liar and she believes too many people. Dick tells her, "Make sure that Jen feels secure with her. Befriend her." Then Dick asks Daniele if she took her vitamins today. (I wonder if he also asked her, "Did you wash behind your ears?" "Did you make your bed today?" or "Do you have on clean underwear?" and they just edited that out …) Dick offers to smash up the vitamins if they’re too big for her to swallow. Don’t forget to offer to cut her meat for her too, Dick. (Unless Daniele’s on the slop diet …)

In the Diary Room, Dick says, "This is what I hoped it would be. She’s letting me be her Dad. I think the times and the moments that we’re sharing now, fixing this relationship and putting it back where it should be, is, without a doubt, worth way more than the money." Remember that when they evict your butt on Thursday, big guy.

Jessica thinks Jen is trying to play both sides. "She’s trying to listen in on all our conversations and then run and go tell Dick and Daniele, which is really annoying."

Dick and Daniele say that one of them needs to win the Power of Veto. "This is extremely important to me that Daniele stay. What I have to do is to not only get the five to hate me, I have to get them to despise me." Something tells me you won’t have much trouble doing that, Dick. (Hate to break it to you, but most of them probably already do despise you).

And here’s where the Tylenol is going to come in handy. Dick starts clanging pans while the houseguests are sleeping. Then he berates almost all of them. While I’m not a doctor, I play one on the Internet, and I think he needs something stronger than Ritalin, Michael. (Note: See Michael's reply to an earlier post.)

After the commercial break, it’s time to pick players for the Veto Competition. The two nominees, Dick and Daniele, are playing, as well as Jessica, as Head of Household. Three other players are selected by random draw. Selected are Jameka, Dustin and Zach. Jessica choses Eric as host of the competition.

Everyone is separated and one by one, they are called out into the backyard. There are ten stations, each with a drink specially prepared by "Big Brother" The more shots they are able to drink, the more strokes they are able to get in the game of croquet. The drinks include: maple syrup, pickle juice; a blend of pig ear, pig feet and ham; water, and your run-of-the mill, ordinary glass of Big Brother Blood. (Hey, it does a body good.) Jameka said she was going to have a problem swallowing anything with chunks in it. Dick downs every single drink (Something tells me Evel doesn’t have any problem drinking shots of anything …) At the end of the competition, the scores are revealed. For each drink, they earn one stroke in the croquet game. For each stroke, they can earn up to five points: one point for every wicket they hit the ball through, and a fifth point if they hit the stake. The person with the most points after everyone takes their strokes will win the Power of Veto. In the end, Dick wins the Power of Veto

After the commercial break, Dustin says if Dick doesn’t use the Power of Veto on Daniele, "He’s got nothin’ next week, because he’s Target Number 1 next week. Any single person in this house will put him up. And if he doesn’t use it on her, he’s the selfish one, out of all of us."

Dick gloats about winning the competition and continues to harass the houseguests. "I am to my limit with tolerating E.D.’s comments. He just goes on and on and on," says Jameka. "He is Satan in this house."

Daniele has a meltdown about having to take the heat for what Evel Dick does. Daniele and Jameka have a virtual catfight. Daniele says it’s frustrating, because she has to deal with Dick outside of the house after this game is over.

Jameka apologizes to Daniele. Later in the Diary Room, Daniele says, "It was honestly how I was feeling, but it was definitely strategy. Everyone in this house pretty much hates my Dad, and once he’s gone, I don’t want everybody to hate me because of things that he’s done."

In private, Daniele tells Dick to stop his verbal assaults on the houseguests. Daniele says Dick is the only person left in the house that she doesn’t want to see evicted.

After the commercial break, Dustin offers to go up as a replacement nominee. He says he knows he’ll be safe and he’s not scared. (Famous last words …)

We then get the results of the "America’s Player" question. Eric has to give the silent treatment to Jessica. Eric decides to run into bed and stay there for as long as he could to avoid Jessica.

Jessica tells Jen if she puts Jen up on the block, she will fight everything to make sure Jen doesn’t go home.

Then Jen plants the seeds of paranoia in Jessica’s head (let’s face it, I think there’s plenty of empty space in there) by saying that Dustin and Dick have some sort of deal going on.

Eric gives Jessica the silent treatment, but fails. The seeds of paranoia continue to grow as Jessica believes Eric is in with Dustin and Dick.

After commercial break, it’s time for the Veto Meeting.

Daniele has the opportunity to say why Dick should use the Power of Veto on her: "It’s really a tough situation for me to be sitting next to you, for me to ask you to do something like that, and whatever you decide, you decide." Dick decides to use the Power of Veto on Daniele. Jessica puts up Dustin as the replacement nominee.

Pretending to cry, Dustin says, "I’m really nervous this week." Then says, "Oooh, I feel so fine being up against Dick. You know, there’s always a twinge of a risk, but in this situation, I don’t feel it. Let me tell you that one."

Says Dick, "I’m very happy. Yes I am. I’m thrilled. How many times have we seen in this game the pawn go home?"

"I knew that my Dad was going to use the veto on me. It means a lot to me," Daniele said. "I definitely will think of any possible way my Dad can stay in the house this week."

Jessica says, "I thought I was playing for the group, but I’m playing for myself. Certain members of the group are trying to use me, and I don’t like it. I thought last week was hard. This week’s even harder."

Fasten your seatbelt, Jessica. It’s only going to get worse.

Before the show ends, we have the "America’s Player" question: Which of the two nominees do you want Eric to get evicted from the "Big Brother" house. I vote to get rid of Dick.

Until Thursday, gang. Now, what did I do with that Tylenol ...