"Big Brother 8," Thursday, Aug. 30, 2007

After the recap, it’s Day 62 in the house (I almost typed Day 26 …yikes!).

What the heck is Eric doing in the background as Julie is speaking? Looks like he’s doing a seated hula dance.

In the Diary Room, Amber says, "It’s just not fair. Eric’s looking out for Eric. Obviously, based on the decision he made today. It just shows that he’s here for only himself and he doesn’t care about anyone else in this game." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have our first "duh" moment of the episode. I’m sure it won’t be the last, either.

In his turn in the Diary Room, Zach says, "I’d like to think that I’ve established relationships with everybody in this house versus Amber, who has been seen as a floater, someone who truly can’t compete and I’m not going down without a fight." Can someone please play the theme from "Rocky"?

In the Head of Household bedroom, Eric and Jessica are alone. Jessica is upset because of her nominations. But, the best part of all … it sounds like she’s losing her voice. But, dang, it’s back the next minute. So much for my hopes of an early Christmas present.

Then…ding dong….is it Avon calling? No, it’s Amber …and…you know what I’m going to say … come on, say it with me ….it’s Amber and she’s …. crying.

Says Eric in the Diary Room, "Amber has one argument, and one argument only, the good people need to win the game. You know, I don’t know what to say to her. I’ve had enough of her crying and enough of her weak game play. Amber should be leaving the house on Thursday." I had it with her crying about week three, Eric. Your tolerance level is much higher than mine.

After Amber departs the HOH bedroom, Jessica tells Eric she wants to keep Amber in the game, but says she can tell Amber is going to be the one to go. We can only hope, Jessl.

We then go to Dick and Zach in the backyard. Dick, obviously having not read a single "Miss Manners" column, spits during their conversation as he tells Zach he is going to stay this week.

Back in the HOH Room, Jessica, Amber and Jameka talk about Eric. Amber says he’s scared to get HOH because there will be pictures of his girlfriend, which Jessica will see. Just sleep with your door locked and one eye open and you’ll be just fine, Eric.

Back in the Diary Room (I’m getting whiplash here, guys), Jessica says, "Amber started to put in my head, that you know, she should really stay this and bashed on Eric the entire conversation and said how bad he was, and I’ve been pretty much been aligned with him the entire time, and so I was like, I’m really kind of confused." I have the sinking suspicion this feeling of confusion is nothing new to her.

Amber and Jameka say that Amber needs to get Daniele’s vote, so of course, Amber goes to plead her case to Daniele. Amber swears on her daughter’s life that Amber wouldn’t put up Daniele if Amber got Head of Household. (Why do they do that? Why don’t they swear on something a little less controversial? "I swear on my library card!" or "I swear on these almost-expired grocery coupons."

It’s time for the results of the "America’s Player" question: Which one of the two nominees do you want Eric to get evicted from the "Big Brother" house. America picks Amber. Says Eric, "As expected, Amber is causing trouble yet masquerading as one of the ‘good people.’ She is self-righteous and she needs to get off her high horse and stop everyone she’s better than everyone else. And, Amber, you’re going home." Well, October is almost here. Amber can always dress up as one of the "good people" on Halloween.

Alone in the Head of Household Room, Eric asks Jessica what she, Amber and Jameka were talking about earlier. Eric tells Jessica he doesn’t have a girlfriend. And then Eric slings mud back in Amber’s direction. "Let’s keep in mind, she was also a drug user when she had a 5-year-old child and like addicted to serious drugs. So that fact that she sits here and talks about what a good person she is, I’ll tell you, I’ve never done any of those things, you’ve never done any of those things, let’s not get carried away." After all this "Big Brother" watching and blocking, I’m about ready to be carried away, by the guys in white coats. (Those that know me are probably astounded it hasn’t happened yet.)

The HOH bedroom needs a revolving door. Dick comes to visit Jessica and Eric. Dick tells them that Zach’s plan if he gets HOH is to put Jessica and Jameka up, and then backdooring Eric. Eric says that Zach told them that he would put up Dick and Daniele.

After the commercial break, we go live with the houseguests in the "Big Brother" living room.

Julie asks Jessica about the shopping spree competition where they all wound up getting naked. "I was really nervous, because I’m a pretty conservative girl when I’m back at home. But, after I took my clothes off, I was like, ‘Oh, it’s a whole new me.’ It was a lot of fun."

When Julie asks Daniele what she would have said to Nick if she had been able to see him on "The Power of 10," she responds: "1-5-3." When Julie asks if she could decode them for us, Daniele says, "No, he knows what it is." 153? The first three digits of her phone number? A hotel room number? 153 bottles of beer on the wall? 153 hours of blogging "Big Brother" episodes? C’mon guys, don’t leave me … and the rest of the viewers … in suspense.

There’s a viewer question for Dick: "Why do you spit so much." He replies, "I have no idea, Julie. It’s just, ah, I don’t know, like walkin’ and talkin’, really." Remind me to wear a wet suit if I ever wind up walking around Dick’s neighborhood.

We then see Jameka’s pastor and the congregation of her Church. "Jameka’s a great example of a Christian person," he declares.

We then hear from Jameka’s mother, Danita, "Her strong belief in her faith could be perceived as her weakness and people attack that, just like Dick did. But she is the type of person that will let you know when you’ve cross the line with her, and then the fiery side comes out." Her Mom also says, "I feel sorry for Dick, that maybe he’s just angry because he’s missing something in his life. Everybody doesn’t have the benefit of having a strong faith …Jameka praying for other people is her spirit speaking, it’s her genuine compassion. I know that she knows every time she prays, she’s connecting with God." Her Mom reveals Jameka’s third niece was just born. Someone pass me a cigar. OK, I don’t smoke … pass me a candy cigarette, then.

After the commercial break, we hear from Eric’s family and "the girl he left behind," says Julie. Says Josh, his older brother, "I’m optimistic that aligning with Dick and Daniele, Eric and Jessica have a foursome that can get themselves to the end .. I’m very much in favor of Eric and Jessica’s relationship both from strategic purposes and friendship and companionship separately."

We also hear from Cheryl, his on-again, off-again girlfriend. "Jessica and Eric in the house right now, they’re completely forming a bond," she says as she’s watching a clip of Jessica and Eric in a bubble bath (Jessica’s wearing a bikini top, so I’m assuming they both have swimming attire on). "The thing is, it’s like you can’t help but be a little jealous, you CAN’T, that’s just human NATURE …oh, now I’m going to cry." Me too.

Julie talks with Jessica in the HOH bedroom. Julie asks her if it comes down to Dick, Daniele, Eric and her in the final four, who will be the first one out. "Well, I think a lot of people think I’ll be the first one out, but I think a lot of people are underestimating how competitive of a person I am, so I’m going to try my best to make it to the end and make sure it’s someone else and not me."

Back to the living room, the two nominees get to plead their case.

Says Zach, "From Mad Hatters, to guitar smashers, to bunny suits. I’ve enjoyed many memories with all of you as you sit here in this place here we call Wonderland. I definitely would love to be a part of this house still and continue my journey down the rabbit hole." Just be careful Zach, Elmer Fudd may be hot on your trail.

Says Amber, "Alright, I’m going to try not to cry." I don’t think she’s gonna make it. "I just want to tell you guys that when I got picked to be a houseguest and come into this house, I had no idea it was going to be as hard as it is. I also didn’t know that I was going to build such unique, rare relationships with each and every one of you guys. I would love to stay here, but then again, if it’s in God’s plan for me to go, then I go today. And I just want you all to know I hold nothing against you guys. I think you guys are all very special people and I hold a special place in my heart for each and every one of you guys."

It’s now time for the live voting:Jameka votes to evict Zach; Eric, Dick, Daniele vote to evict Amber. (We learn Eric, as "America’s Player," has completed 17 out of 24 tasks and has earned $30,000 to date for it). By a vote of 3 to 1, Amber is evicted from the "Big Brother" house. Finally! Amber will get the bad news after the commercial break. When Amber is evicted, Jameka and Amber share a tearful farewell.

Talking with Julie Chen outside the "Big Brother" house, Amber says, "I think I was evicted because honestly nobody wants to be sitting next to me in the final two." Why, do you have cooties? "I have really good relationships with everyone. I think they were nervous that had I stayed, the numbers would have stayed on me, and Jameka’s side and Jessica, they would have felt me as a threat and I understand it’s a game." Amber tells Julie she thinks Eric had a lot to do with her eviction.

Amber feels there’s something in this for her, perhaps as a motivational speaker. Oh, my God! I’ve never heard of a crying motivational speaker. Amber could possible motivate me to stick my head in the oven. Unfortunately, it’s not a gas oven.

We see the houseguest’s goodbye messages to Amber. Nothing extremely outstanding here to report, so now it’s then time for the Head of Household competition. Jessica, the current HOH is not eligible to compete, neither is Jameka, who gave up her eligibility to compete. This is week four.

After the commercial break, it’s "The Big Brother Tea Party." They must transfer tea from a teapot filled with 55 gallons of tea to a tank at the opposite end. They have to put enough water in it to make a silver ball in the tank rise enough so they can get it. They will be transporting the water in a cup that only holds 3 ounces of tea and it takes 16 gallons to fill up the tank. That’s about 683 trips back and forth, or seven miles.

It’s time for "America’s Player" question: Which houseguest do you want Eric to get nominated? I’d vote for Jessica, but I know that’s not going to happen. So my next vote would be for Evel Dick.

When we come back from commercial break, the houseguests are still competing in the HOH competition. "Big Brother" then introduces a combination of corn oil and baby oil into the mix. Grease is the word, it’s got groove, it’s got meaning, and it makes transporting little cups of water difficult as all heck. We leave the houseguests still competing.

Two quick notes: "Big Brother" alum Janelle will host Tuesday’s "Power of Veto" competition; and next Thursday, it’s a double live eviction! A double eviction? That calls for a double "woohoo!"