Who's your favorite felonious feline?

OK, who’s the purr-fect Catwoman?

One of my all-time favorite villainesses on “Batman” was Catwoman. It was always a good show when Julie Newmar slinked across the small screen in her form-fitting black Catwoman outfit, her gold belt slung low on her hips.

Hold on, I need a cold shower.

Anyway, as I was saying, to me, Julie Newmar was the definitive Catwoman. And she was the first one to originate the role. (And, by the way, none of the other Catwomen had a movie named after them, like Newmar did, the Patrick Swayze/John Leguizamo/Wesley Snipes flick, “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.”

Lee Meriwether took on the role as the felonious feline femme fatale for the 1960s “Batman” movie, playing the dual role of Catwoman and the a foreign reporter from “The Moscow Bugle” named Kitanya Irenya Tantanya Karenska Alisoff, or KITKA for short. (The scariest part about this is that name is stuck in my memory, I just had to double-check the spelling. And it’s because I have such trivia ensnared in my head that I can’t remember if I had peanut butter or liverwurst for lunch. Wait, it was peanut butter. No, wait, it was neither. It was ham. Yeah, it was ham.) While I still enjoyed the character, I found her portrayal of Catwoman bland in comparison to Newmar’s interpretation of the role.

During the third and final season of “Batman,” I’ve read Newmar was making a movie and was unavailable. This time, Eartha Kitt slipped into the catsuit. Although she was still no Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt made a great Catwoman. Although the first time I saw her on screen, pulling up in her Cat Car (or was it a Kitty Kar?) to pick up the newly-sprung Joker from prison, I just about lost my grape juice.

And, of course, we really can’t discuss Catwoman without giving a nod to the big screen. I loved Michelle Pfeiffer’s interpretation of Catwoman/Selena Kyle. (Loved the outfit, too …). But I could have done without her having to split the storyline with Danny DeVito as the Penguin. But, hey, that’s why they invented fast forward on VCRs and DVD players.

When I originally wrote this entry and was waiting for my blog to bein created online, I hadn’t seen Halle Berry in “Catwoman.” But, as luck would have it, I found it on television, and of course, I had to watch. And I really enjoyed it, despite the bad reviews the movie received from the critics. But, while I did love Halle Berry’s interpretation, Julie Newmar still rules my world.

So, who’s your favorite Catwoman? And why? Let me know. You can reply to this post, or you can get in touch with me via the information below. Also, please feel free to contact me if you’d like to see something television-related in this blog.

Courier News Staff Writer Brad Wadlow blogs about television. In addition to replying to this post, you can also e-mail your comments, or suggestions for future "Totally TV" topics, to: bwadlow@gannett.com. Please put "Totally TV" in the subject field. You can also write to him: Brad Wadlow, Courier News, 1201 Route 22 West, PO Box 6600, Bridgewater, NJ 08807. Be sure to put: "Totally TV" on the envelope, too. You can also fax him at (908) 707-3252, or call him at (908) 707-3131.

"Survivor: China"--Season Premiere, Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007

Thirty-nine days, 16 people … 1 survivor (said in my best Jeff Probst imitation). Yes, it’s another season of "Survivor." This time, they’re in the beautiful setting of China.

Among the contestants, the ones that might be the most interesting this season are: Denise, a middle school lunch lady; Todd, a gay Mormon flight attendant; a chicken farmer, aptly named Chicken; Jean-Robert, a professional poker player, Ashley, a WW Diva; James, a gravedigger, and Frosti (not the snowman), a 20-year-old student-athlete, the youngest Survivor ever. There’s also Leslie, a Christian radio host, who walks out of the Buddhist welcoming ceremony for them, saying it felt like worship, even though Jeff Probst (who’s returned to host yet another season) told her it wasn’t a religious ceremony.

All the Survivors’ careful packing goes out the window when they learn they have to leave their suitcases behind. They are given new bags, and each team is given a map that can help them with strategy, and a map to their new digs.

Already I don’t like Courtney. A New York waitress, she says doesn’t like people with the attitude of "everything’s always great. Isn’t it amazing? Like, you’re doing a really good job with that."

Sherea, an elementary school teacher on the Zhan Hu tribe, comes to the camp in heels. Who wears heels to "Survivor"??? I guess she left the tiara at home, unless she had it packed in her suitcase.

We already see a difference in the tribes. Fei Long tribe is more work-oriented, while the Zhan Hu is standing around talking. Standing around talking won’t get you very far when it starts to rain and you have poor shelter, as they find out.

Our resident WW Diva, Ashley, falls sick. That didn’t take long, and it might note bode well for her if her tribe loses the immunity challenge. Aaron is chosen to lead the Fei Long tribe. No leader yet for the Zhan Hu tribe. (No sense rushing these things. Look how long the 2000 Presidential elections took).

At the Immunity challenge, the immunity idol looks very cool. I love Oriental statues like that. Each tribe will be tethered to and carrying a ceremonial mascot that Jeff says is awkward and heavy. (Everybody sing, he’s not heavy, he’s my mascot). They have to maneuver through a series of obstacles. When they get to a locked gate, one tribe member will race ahead, and scale two walls, releasing a drawbridge at each wall. They’ll then retrieve a key, race back, unlock the gate, bring the rest of the tribe. They have to make their way through a swamp to the finish platform where they have to solve a puzzle by placing their pole of the ceremonial mascot in the correct spot. Got that? I hope so … there will be a test at the end of this blog. (Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t, he wrote with an evil laugh going through his head).

The winning tribe will win immunity and fire in the form of flint. The survivors were also given their running shoes for this challenge. They can take them back with them.

Fei Long wins immunity and fire.

There’s sound coming out of non-commital Chicken’s mouth, but I don’t see his mouth moving

At Tribal Council, Dave and Peih-Gee volunteer to be leader of the Zhan Hu tribe. As Frosti goes to cast his vote, all I can hear in my head is thumpity-thump-thump, thumpity-thump-thump, look at Frosti go. When the votes are tallied, it’s four votes for Chicken, 2 votes for Ashley, and one vote for Peih-Gee.

Jeff says, "Chicken, the tribe has spoken." He replies, "I heard ‘em"

The tribe goes back to camp with their torches and flint.

And, you've lucked out--it's the end of this blog entry and there is no test!

Courier News Staff Writer Brad Wadlow blogs about television. In addition to replying to this post, you can also e-mail your comments, or suggestions for future "Totally TV" topics, to: bwadlow@gannett.com. Please put "Totally TV" in the subject field. You can also write to him: Brad Wadlow, Courier News, 1201 Route 22 West, PO Box 6600, Bridgewater, NJ 08807. Be sure to put: "Totally TV" on the envelope, too. You can also fax him at (908) 707-3252, or call him at (908) 707-3131.

"I Love Lucy"—originally aired from Oct. 1951 to May 1957

Definitely, one of the classics. Here’s just one of my favorites (I’ll touch on more "I Love Lucy" episodes in future blog entries):

"Job Switching": Lucy and Ethel trade places with Ricky and Fred. The men stay home and try to become domestic divas while the ladies head out into the work force.

Some of the highlights from this episode: Ricky telling Fred you don’t iron silk stockings, you starch them, as he holds up a pair of now-petrified stockings. But, he was right—no creases. And they can certainly be stored away neatly in the closet. Or when he holds up a piece of Lucy’s clothing he’s ironed, with the burned imprint of the iron on it. I have three pairs of dress shirts just like it. Trust me, it’s a definite fashion statement. I am the envy of all of my friends, relatives and co-workers, and I’m waiting for Kmart to contact me any day about developing my own "Brad’s Burnt Iron" clothing line.

But, the laughs really come when Lucy and Ethel go to work in a chocolate factory (yes, they landed my dream job … I’d last about two days—OK, probably more like two hours--before they kicked me out for eating almost as much as I made.) My mouth is watering and my stomach is growling just thinking about Lucy dipping candy in that chocolate. And it only even funnier when Lucy and Ethel are put on the candy wrapping station and the conveyor belt sends candy through at warp speed. They look like chipmunks as they stuff the candy their mouths (I would have loved to have been a stunt double for that)—as well as in their hats and shirts.

In the end, the couples decide that the men are better off making the money, and the women are better of spending it.

All this writing has made me hungry. I’m off to the vending machine. But, before I go, how about you? Would you trade places with your spouse/significant other if you could? How do you think you’d do … and how do you think THEY would do? And, what’s YOUR favorite "I Love Lucy" episode?

Courier News Staff Writer Brad Wadlow blogs about television. In addition to replying to this post, you can also e-mail your comments, or suggestions for future "Totally TV" topics, to: bwadlow@gannett.com. Please put "Totally TV" in the subject field. You can also write to him: Brad Wadlow, Courier News, 1201 Route 22 West, PO Box 6600, Bridgewater, NJ 08807. Be sure to put: "Totally TV" on the envelope, too. You can also fax him at (908) 707-3252, or call him at (908) 707-3131.

Welcome to "Totally TV"!

Step back with me for a minute as we take a ride back in time. Don’t worry, I’ll get you back in time to meet your next work deadline (unless you want to miss it), or by the time you need to take little Johnny or Janie to Little League, soccer, horseshoe or vocal practice (or all of them).

Let’s go back in time when life, looking back, seemed so much simpler. There were no Internet predators, because, well, there was no Internet, everyone in the family crowded around one set, and the family’s idea of the remote control was the youngest one sitting in front of the television turning the dial.

And forget one hundred-plus channels. "Back in the day" (OK, I’m starting to feel old now), there were Channels 2 through 13, and three major networks. (Yes, that would be ABC, CBS and NBC). Sure, cable began to emerge back in the 1970s, but it wasn’t omnipresent in almost every household like it is today.

In this blog, I’ll touch on television shows of my childhood (the late '60s and '70s), my teen years (the '80s), trends and holiday customs, television theme songs we just can’t seem to forget, no matter how hard we try, and more.

We'll also step out of the time machine and take a look at some of today’s shows, too.

But, I want to hear from you as well! I want to know your favorite shows were growing up and your memories of them. Did you play Lone Ranger for hours on end, "galloping" endlessly up and down on a broomstick which subbed as "Silver"? Did you pretend to be Dinah Shore (yes, that’s before the days of Oprah and Ellen) and hold mock talk shows with your siblings and neighborhood friends?

What are your favorite skits from Burns & Allen? Abbott & Costello? Or your favorite episode of "Cagney & Lacey"? And what present television shows do you refuse to miss … or tape … or TiVo? And which ones can’t you stand?

And, what would a television blog be without discussing commercials, too? How many months in the mid-1980’s did you go around saying, "Where’s the beef?" How many women are still soaking in a Calgon bath to escape "the dog … the boss …the kids"? Did you feel compelled to buy Bounty paper towels because Rosie, portrayed by Nancy Walker, extolled, "It’s the quicker picker-upper!"

I’d love to hear your thoughts on your favorite and not-so-favorite shows and commercials from yesterday to today (Wow, I sound like a radio station).

In addition to posting directly on this blog (and please do!), you can e-mail me your comments at: bwadlow@gannett.com. Please put "Totally TV" in the subject field. You can also write to me: Brad Wadlow, Courier News, 1201 Route 22 West, PO Box 6600, Bridgewater, NJ 08807. Be sure to put: "Totally TV" on the envelope, too. You can also fax me at (908) 707-3252, or give me a call at (908) 707-3131. I look forward to hearing from you!

"Big Brother 8," Tuesday, Sept. 18, 2007--series finale!

Julie Chen introduces …. The live "Big Brother 8" finale … and then, we don’t just a recap from the last show, we get a SEASON recap! (I’m already tired.)

After the season recap, it’s Day 81.

At the Jury House, the jury gathers to see who’s going to be the next evicted houseguest.

Dustin said, "I would absolutely love to see Dick, or Daniele, honestly, it’s a 50/50 toss-up. Well, I would least like to Zach here, Absolutely, least like to see him here."

Says Jen, "I would most like to see Dick, because I really think that Dick, overall, has to be the absolute worst person I’ve ever met in my entire life, and I just don’t think that he even deserves to get $50,000, and I’d like to see him here tonight, where he could beg and plead for us to vote for Daniele…"

And here comes Zach to the Jury House.

Eric tells Zach that Zach remained in the Final Two, it would have been a 6 to 1 vote for him to win.

Dustin says, "Oh, my God, you guys. What are we gonna do? We have to pick between those two!"

It’s time for the results of the final "America’s Player" question: Who should Eric campaign and vote for to win "Big Brother 8"? America choses … Dick. So, of course, Eric begins to campaign for Dick to win "Big Brother 8."

Zach says, "Everyone here has been afflicted by a personal attack by Dick. If we want to send a message to him, then we can go back at him by him not be awarded with the major prize."

"With Dick winning," says Dustin, "we are condoning that type of behavior and sending a message to America that, you know, being a piece of (edited out) is great and it will win you $500,000."

Eric says, "Please tell me in the rule book where it said that being polite to people, being honest or trustworthy, being any of these things were a criteria for playing this game. Dick made a clearly defined strategy from the minute he walked in the door. Whereas Daniele who is a sniveling little baby, a brat who rode her father’s coattails …"

Jen interrupts and says, "I put them up Week 2 because I saw that, that they were both horrible people and that they were the strongest competitors in the game. We’re all pretty much stupid for not voting them out the three times they were up, so now we’re figuring out who’s the worst of the worst, and I can’t ever condone, ever do anything for anyone who is such a big (edited out) than Dick."

Says Eric, "I think that Dick’s best strategic move was targeting the correct person at the correct time throughout the game. Daniele’s best strategic move was allowing her father to carry her to the end and take the bullets for her."

"She really, at least in my eyes, was an amazing competitor," says Zach of Daniele. "You know, five POVs. Tied Janelle for the title for the most POVs won in a season."

Dustin says, "Her reason for winning would be, hands down, she was a strong competitor. Everybody knew that if you put her up, you know, she was most likely going to win that veto and take herself off and, you know, three out of four times, she did."

"He didn’t just play for one person, he played for two. And he looked out for two people the whole entire game. And look who’s in the final two. Him and her, mainly because of him. That‘s awesome. Like, I mean he‘s a (edited out), but it’s awesome," said Amber.

Jessica says, "I don’t see her on any higher level than her Dad at all. Well, ‘Dick is this,’ or ‘Dick is that, Dick did this’ well, Daniele did it all, she just did it quieter. She’s getting away with so much, and I just don’t understand like how you guys can’t see that."

"Granted, you know, Dick is totally freedom of speech and does his thing," says Zach. "But, Dick was the guard dog and Daniele was holding the leash and pulling it back. She would make a call and Dick would abide by it."

Jameka says, "You have Daniele, who, you know, is the pimp, and E.D. is the ho, and Daniele pretty much orchestrates, ‘OK, this is what we’re gonna do this, how you gonna get that money.’ E.D. enjoyed ridiculing people, talkin’ smack and Daniele just collected all the benefits from it."

"The two of them are up there, and by golly, it’s either Evel or Evel’s spawn that’s gonna win," says Dustin.

After the commercial break, the jury question the two finalists.

Dustin asks Dick, "Knowing that your daughter had said, ‘I will carry my Dad with me because he’s a terrible person and I would love to sit next to him because it guarantees me a win,’ how do you feel sitting next to her now?"

Dick replies, "I feel great sitting next to Daniele now. It doesn’t really matter what she said. We have had the hardest game of anyone in this house. Nobody really carried anyone. This I look at as the best team that’s ever played this game. Nobody else as a team has ended up here as the final two."

Amber asks Daniele, "Why should I give you your vote, considering what you did to your boyfriend on national television with Nick? Honestly, you’re a very pathetic person for what you did to him. I just wanna know, why should I respect you as a person?"

Daniele replies, "To be quite honest, Amber, my personal life has absolutely nothing to do with this game. Nobody knows my situation with Nick, how I really feel about him, what happened or what didn’t happen, and if you’re going to base your vote strictly on my personal life, I don’t want your vote, because that has nothing to do with this game."

Jessica asks, "Dick, if there could be one other person besides Daniele that you could be sitting next to right now, who would that be?"

Dick replies, "It never even crossed my mind. I never envisioned anything but Daniele. It was all about both of us getting here. I’m telling you the honest truth. I haven’t lied to you, Jessica."

Jessica retorts, "You did lie to me, because you assured me all week that I was staying and that Jameka was leaving. But, both of you lied, so I just wanna say that this will be a very tough decision for me on who I will pick."

Eric says, "Dick, you have personally slandered every member of this jury at one time or another. So I’m going to ask you to do the opposite. Please tell me the reason that each jury member would deserve to be in the final two."

Dick pretty much slams them all, but he does say of Eric, "I believe that you were the best player in this game and a force to be reckoned with."

Zach asks them, "I want to know what you have learned and will take with you outside of this house from each member of the jury?"

Among the answers, Dick says of Dustin, "To be careful with overconfidence, because it gets you in trouble especially in this game."

Jameka asks Daniele, "What exactly do you credit yourself for in terms of the biggest moves and not using your father to help you advance in the game?"

Daniele replies, "It’s really hard for me because I know that a lot of people have seen us as one person and the whole Eric thing when I was first HOH was all my planning. Another big move would have been, you know, sorry, but backdooring Jen. It was about making it to the final two and doing what I thought was best.

Jen says, "I obviously don’t respect either of you as people in the real world, but at this point, I have no choice but to vote for one of you. Dick, do you think that this has helped you build your relationship with Daniele?"

Dick replies, "Wow, that’s a very odd question coming from you. I’m almost blindsided. This has been an absolutely amazing experience to share with someone that is so dear to me, that I love so much. Having this as a beginning to building some type of normalcy in our father-daughter relationship I appreciate even more than being here in the Final Two. I think I’ve showed that in this game and if you don’t already know, you’re an idiot."

Daniele says, "Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I never in a million years thought that we would have worked this well together. It’s not your normal father-daughter relationship. So, it is what you make of it. And, I honestly think that we made a lot out of this. There’s nobody I would rather be sitting next to and I hope that you guys just vote with your hearts, do what you think is best and I’m completely content with that."

Dick says, "I played hard, I’ve had to play this game hard from the beginning. There was no flying under the radar. When I was on the block against Dustin, the deal that I proposed to Eric changed the game completely, a 180. It was a last-ditch effort in order to try to convince Jessica and Eric to become our allies instead of our enemies, which we did. And we were a very strong alliance. When that came to an end, that’s probably the thing that I feel the worst about in this house, was turning on Jessica and Eric. I did a lot of the dirty work, I did what needed to be done. Not just for myself, but for Daniele. I’m here, I made it with my daughter, as far as I’m concerned, we won."

After their speeches, Daniele tells Dick his speech was bad.

The "Big Brother" jury is then introduced to the audience.

After the commercial break, Julie talks with Dick and Daniele and asks how they’re doing.

Dick says, "I feel really good. I feel great. It’s weird looking at myself right now, but, I feel really good, it couldn’t be any better. I’m here with my daughter."

Daniele says, "Honestly, it feels absolutely amazing. This last week has been really nice, you know, getting spending time with my Dad remising on all the houseguests, all the fun times, and bad times, and I couldn’t ask for anything more than to be here sitting next to my Dad, so I’m ecstatic."

The jurors cast their votes. Among the comments as they are casting their votes, Dustin says, "I just want to let you know that someone in the house once said to me that actions speak louder than words. So, I am basing my vote on strategic action, not just words."

Jen says, "Honestly, I prefer to vote for anyone besides either of you in the house, but I have no choice, so I will have to vote for one of you."

Jessica says, "Congratulations Dick and Daniele. I’m voting for the person that I enjoyed more in the house. May the best Denato win."

After the commercial break, we meet Dick’s mother and his son, and then the first five evicted houseguests return.

Joe said, "Watching Dustin play was actually pretty enjoyable. It was kind of neat to see like him fall apart, and put himself up there. I couldn’t hope for anything better. But, honestly, all I could say to him is congratulations, you did really well and you got far. Good job."

Time to reveal the big twist of "Big Brother 8" that … oh, my God … Eric is "America’s Player"!

Eric whispers to Jessica, and when Julie asks her what he said, Jessica said, "He just said we could talk later … All season I have not been able to be mad at Eric, and I’m not."

Daniele said, "OK, we knew the mustard was Eric, and we knew the two votes were Eric. Everything else, honestly, I’m shocked, but I think it’s hilarious, I think it’s really funny. So, I think it’s cool."

Eric says to Jessica, "Everything that we shared was true and genuine, trust me. Anyone will attest to the fact, I’m sure all of them will, that I have been dying to tell you for a long time. It’s been killing me and just know that everything we shared was me, really me, no nonsense."

After the commercial break, we are again reminded the winner will receive $500,000, and the runner-up will receive $50,000. It’s time for the votes, with four votes needed to win:

Eric (and America) vote for Dick
Jameka votes for Daniele
Dustin votes for Dick
Jen for Daniele

It’s a tie so far…

Zach votes for Dick
And Amber votes for …. Dick.

Dick wins "Big Brother 8".

Jessica also voted for Dick to win, as well.

Well, gang, we've made it through "Big Brother 8"! Hope you've enjoyed the ride as much as I have.

Be sure to check out my new blog coming soon to c-n.com, called "Totally TV," where I'll blog about shows from my childhood through today. And, of course, we'll talk about YOUR favorite TV shows, too. So be sure to look for it./Brad

"Big Brother 8": Sunday, Sept. 16, 2007

We’re getting closer and closer to the "Big Brother 8" finale … and all I can say is excuse me while I do my happy dance. It’s been a long summer.

After some recap, Dick says in the Diary Room, "In the last week, Zach turned it on, man. He went, he turned it to the limit, as high as he could turn it. I’ll give credit to where credit is due." If it was the air conditioning, can her turn it down just a little bit? I’m freezing.

Daniele, in the Diary Room, says, "According to Zach, it wasn’t fair, that we dominated it. But, life’s not fair and here we are." (I’m having a "Mommie Dearest" moment, where Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford tells Christina, "Ah, but nobody ever said life was fair!" And, don’t use wire hangers. Ever.

It’s now Day 76 in the "Big Brother" house.

In the Diary Room, Dick says, "I already won, because of my relationship with my daughter. This is a happy ending. And with me and Daniele, it’s a happy start on trying to fix a (edited out by the show) relationship."

Dick tells Daniele, "We have been the best team to ever play this game. Think about it. We’re the best team to ever play this game."

Daniele says in the Diary Room, "This summer has been so much. Honestly, there have been many points where I’ve hit rock bottom and I didn’t think it would be worth it at all. But, in the end, it IS worth it."

Dick and Daniele enjoy a celebratory meal for being the Final Two. We see scenes of Daniele and Dick hashing out their feelings. Since I’ve already hashed them out once in this blog, I’m not going to rehash them here. No one likes 76-day old rehashed hash.

Dick tells Daniele, "From going to zero communication whatsoever to 24-7 for almost three months, it wasn’t easy. The easiest part of our relationship in getting along was when we were both in jeopardy. That changed everything." We see the last episode with Dick hanging onto his key for hours as water pours down on him.

In the Diary Room, Daniele says, "Honestly, I don’t know what to expect of my relationship with my Dad once we leave the "Big Brother" house. This summer was definitely a stepping stone, so I definitely see progress, in a good way." Whatever you do, Daniele, don’t expect a pony. I really don’t think that one’s gonna happen. (Of course, if you win, Daniele, you could always buy your own pony. To copy that credit card commercial, "Making up for two years of not speaking with your father? Priceless.")

Dick, in the Diary Room, says, "One step at a time. We’re getting closer and closer and closer. And all I can do is hope that things continue on those lines."

After the commercial break, Dick tells Daniele that he thinks the people in the Jury House view Dick and Daniele as one.

Dick tells Daniele he thinks she’s going to win, and she tells him she thinks he is going to win. Dick says, "But, you didn’t attack … people personally like I did, like down to the core."

We see Dick’s interactions with the other houseguests over the past episodes.

After the commercial break, Daniele, in her bedroom says to Dick, "I’m depressed! I’ve been in this room for 76 days! I don’t wanna give it away!" Don’t worry, Daniele. Maybe the "Big Brother" producers will invite you back for an "All-Stars" episode.

We see a scene of Nick and Daniele sharing a moment in the corner of the bedroom, where he gives her the key to his heart (actually, it’s the key to his suitcase.) I wonder if anyone tried to steal his clothes.

Then Dick reminisces about Eric and Jessica. "How odd was that pairing? Jessica is gonna get out of here, go back to Kansas. She’s gonna get back to real life. There’s no way that Eric is going to moving to Kansas. I mean, Eric lives in New York City, man! Kansas? Nah. Never happening." Maybe he’ll find a pair of ruby slippers. It would make commuting to Kansas sooo much easier. Just as Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz."

Eric says in the Diary Room: "The list of pros for moving to Kansas would be, A. That Jessica lives in Kansas. B. Everything is cheaper in Kansas. C. Well, I think that’s where we actually draw the line. And then on the other hand, let’s see, the cons list for moving to Kansas would be, well … everything else."

After the commercial break, we revisit Jen’s meltdown over her picture on the wall and Dick pouring his ice tea over Jen’s head and Jen taking Dick’s cigarettes.

Daniele tells Dick, "Amber will be best remembered for crying more than every houseguest in all eight seasons of "Big Brother" put together. And, so, of course, we get a montage of Amber crying.

After the commercial break, Daniele tells Dick, "As much as there’s been drama, liars, backstabbers, scheming, there have been fun times … a couple." We see scenes of Zach streaking, Jessica and Eric swapping clothing and Eric and Jen wrestling.

Daniele says to Dick, "As much as you watch this on TV, I don’t think you would ever imagine being here doing the crazy things that we have done this summer, from jumping into pasta to watching you guys dress up like Mad Hatters." We see scenes from the "Butter Me Up" competition, the houseguests diving into pasta, and everyone disrobing in a giant pool of suds.

Daniel and Dick discuss the mysteries of the house, such as the mustard incident to the, as Dick says, "hinky votes." Regarding the mustard, Daniele thinks it was Eric, but hopes it was Nick; Dick thinks it was Nick. Regarding the "hinky votes," Daniele says Dustin and Eric, Dick thinks it was just Eric.

Dick tells Daniele, "Well, one thing for sure, that I know we’re both going to be doing, is taking a nice European vacation." Daniele says, "Not together!" Now there’s a moment that would warm every father’s heart. Dick says, "I’m doing everything I’ve wanted to do. I’m going to Scandinavia, I’m taking an African safari. I’m doing all the things that I’ve dreamed about doing …" and Daniele interjects, "How can you do all that with only $50,000?" (That’s the second-place prize.)

In the Diary Room, Daniele says, "Honestly, I never, ever thought that both of us would be sitting in the Final Two. Looking back on things that have happened this summer, I remember sitting out there telling him no money is worth this, nothing is worth everything that I’m going through. But, you make the most out of it, even when you hit rock bottom, and look where you can be. It’s absolutely, absolutely amazing." Somebody put that on a Hallmark card or something.

Dick tells Daniele, "We couldn’t have made it here without each other. Stick together, to the end, never wavering. I’m glad you’re my daughter."

In the Diary Room, Dick says, "This is like an enormous chapter in my life that I’ve wanted to live for a very, very long time. This is the dream come true. This is a happy ending. Nobody has ever done that before."

Don’t miss the live "Big Brother 8" season finale on Tuesday at 9 p.m../8 p.m. Central.

"Big Brother 8," Thursday, Sept. 13, 2007

Jingle bells, jingle bells, two more shows to go. (After this episode).

So, let’s hit it.

After the recap, it’s Day 76 in the "Big Brother" house and we’re down to the final three of Dick, Daniele and Zach. (Better known as Moe, Larry and Curly).

When we last left the houseguests, they were competing in a Head of Household competition called "The Bunny Hop." (I’m not restating the rules again. Nope, not gonna do it. If you must know, see the previous blog entry for what the rules are.)

In the Diary Room, Daniele, who must be related to the Wicked Witch of the West, says, "Going into this competition, I told my Dad if it has anything to do with cold water, I’m absolutely doomed."

So ….guess what …. it starts to rain. I’m waiting for Daniele to start melting ….melting….

Says Daniele, "The water was, honestly, the coldest water I’ve ever felt in my life. It felt like melted snow falling on me."And, of course, with all this water pouring down, I’m expecting the motorized bunny to short circuit at any time.

Then, they’re pelted with mud and smoke bombs go off.Daniele looks at Dick and says about Zach, "Distract him!" So, Dick , our resident house haranguer, starts to harangue Zach to try to distract him.

Daniele is shivering and crying from the cold water. She looks like she’s about to turn into a snowwoman (wow, the spellcheck actually accepted that word … but it didn’t accept the word spellcheck … hmmm….how about spell-check…OK, it accepts that…)

Daniele is knocked off her perch and goes in to take a hot (I’m assuming) shower. Dick and Zach are losing their minds and start shouting their not moving off their perches. They keep up this screaming and my TV channel’s moving. They can stay on their perches until "Big Brother 77" as far as I’m concerned.

After her shower, Daniele comes out to watch her Dad and cheer him on. The only thing she’s missing are pom-poms. She tells Dick, obviously in pain, "If you can’t do it, it’s OK." And after 7 hours and 32 minutes, Dick finally gives up.

In the Diary Room, Daniele says, "He stood up there for 8 hours, this 44-year-old fart is what I call him and of course, it would have been nice just to sweep Zach right out of the competition, but I’m still extremely proud of him, what he did, and it’s OK." 44-year-old fart? This comment doesn’t sit too well with someone who turned 40 just a couple of months ago.

Dick, in the Diary Room, said, "I don’t know if I would have gone on there as long as I did had it not been for Daniele. I didn’t just let myself down, I let my daughter down, too." Daniele comforts her Dad. I wonder if there’s a Hallmark card for this type of thing.

Zach says, "I just treat him like a drill sergeant. You’ve got that guy breathing down your neck trying to break you, and all it does is build you up. I managed to officially break Dick."

After commercial break (and I having grabbed a second cup of coffee), Daniele says, "Going into the competition, I talked to my Dad. We can chose whoever we want to win to go to Round 3. I don’t think one of us is necessarily going to be stronger in questions than the other person for Round 3, so we both would give it a go."

For the second round, there are two big tanks of water. The competition is called "Chain of Command." (Ch-ch-chain…chain of command. Sorry, it just popped into my head. My apologies to Aretha Frankllin). Dick and Daniele have to collect pieces of a puzzle in one tank, and transfer them to the other tank, where they have to assemble the red line in order that the houseguests held Head of Household. The houseguest that correctly assembles the puzzle in the shortest amount of time will move on to compete against Zach in Part 3 of the competition.

Dick comes out and sees the two tanks of water, Dick, after being pelted with cold water in the last competition, says, "Warm water, right?" Could be worse. Could be battery acid.

When Dick finishes, Dick and Daniele’s times are revealed.Daniele completed the competition in 24 minutes and 9 seconds;: Dick finished in 12 minutes and 48 seconds.

Dick wins the second part of the HOH competition and faces Zach in the third round.

Says Zach in the Diary Room, "For me, it doesn’t really matter who I go against as long as I win. I’ve already taken him down once in the physical, it would be amazing if I could take him down in the mental."

Daniele tells Dick she’s embarrassed about her time in the last competition. "I’m ready to get out of here," she says. So am I, Daniele. So am I.

In the Diary Room, Dick says, "My goal is to take Daniele with me to the final two. One more competition. God …it all comes down to this."

Dick tells Daniele, "Don’t worry, I’m going to do this for you. And we’re going to have a fairy tale ending, I’m telling you." Not everyone in fairy tales has a happy ending. Look at the witch in "Hansel and Gretel." Things didn’t work out too well for HER.

Talking with the houseguests, Julie said in the last competition, Daniele showed incredible compassion for her Dad. She asked Daniele if 10 weeks ago, did she ever think she would have those feelings for her Dad. "Honestly, no, you know, coming in here, I’ve said it a million times. You know, honestly, I probably thought in the beginning that I really wouldn’t care if he left. At any time, it wouldn’t have mattered to me. But, coming in here, you know, it doesn’t change a lot of the things that have happened outside of the house, but it’s definitely a stepping stone and, you know, I’m definitely ready to look for the positive."

After the commercial break (and having snagged my third and final cup of coffee), we go to the Jury House, where the recently evicted Jameka arrives.

Says Dustin, "Now that Jameka’s here, it’s definitely going to be me and Jameka and Amber hanging out, of course, and you know, as much as Eric and Jessica tried to hide it in the ‘Big Brother’ house when all the cameras were there, the walls are thin here, we hear what happens in this house. Though some of us are sleeping, it doesn’t mean we’re not waken up."

They then watch what’s transpired over the last week in the "Big Brother" house.

After the commercial break, Zach and Dick compete in the final HOH competition. Julie will read the beginning of a statement by a member of the jury while they were at the jury house. They will be given two choices of endings of that statement and they have to decide which is the correct one. For each correct answer, the houseguest will receive a point. The houseguest with the most points at the end of six questions will be the next Head of Household. After six questions, Dick is the final Head of Household. (Could Daniele scream any louder????) Dick is like a little kid on Christmas: "Yes! Yes! Yes! … We won …we won everything…we won everything … we won it all!"

After the commercial break (and a nearly empty coffee cup), Zach and Daniele have a chance to plead their case.

Zach says, "Dick, I don’t expect you to use this. I played against the best of the best. I lost to the best. Hopefully, when you guys are winning all that crazy cash in the long run, you’ll think about my inventions."

Says Daniele, "What a summer. Night and day. Who would have thought that we would have worked so well together. I know I wouldn’t have. I honestly don’t believe I would be here without you. I honestly don’t know if you believe you would be here without me. But, amazing team and I would be absolutely honored to be sitting next to you in the Final Two."

Of course, Dick votes to evict Zach.

Outside the "Big Brother" house. Zach talks to Julie about Dick and Daniele, "I went up against the best players in the game. Daniele won seven things, I won three. Dick’s tactics were horrible, awful, totally humiliated many players in this game. Tried to get under me." Asked by Julie if they worked, Zach said, "Not personally, no. He’s a drill sergeant." But they did work against others. "Worked against Amber, worked against Eric, worked against Jameka. I mean, all I can say is, you know, they’re both good people outside of this house. It’s going to take me a little bit of time to really get used to them being in the same area as me, but I think that we all can be friends eventually and who knows what the future holds."

I do. I have a Ouija board and tarot cards. I see all. So there.

Zach sees his goodbye messages from Dick and Daniele.

Daniele says, "Zach, Zach, Zach. Honestly, this has been one roller coaster of a summer for us, from hating each other to liking each other, to who knows where we stand right now. I had some really good times with you. Honestly, I really enjoyed getting to know you. I definitely do consider you a friend. There’s been a lot of things said within the last week that I definitely didn’t appreciate that you probably shouldn’t have said and honestly hurt my feelings. But, it is just a game. I’m trying to not take it personal. And, congrats at getting this far and I’m sorry it just didn’t work out. It’s all a game, and sorry." Well, she’s right. Sorry--yup, that is a game.

Dick says, "Zach, you put up a hell of a fight, man. I’ll give you that. So far as you thinking your this master strategizer, when you see the show, you’ll see how far off base you are. Good luck, sorry to see you go. Not really. Because that means Daniele’s here. So, not in a mean way. You did great, man. Final three. Later."

Says Zach, "It’s touching. I didn’t expect that kind of response from him. Kind of gives me a little tears. But, it’s nice to know that they both are game players and we’re here to play a game. Nothing personal." Can someone please pass Zach the Kleenex?

After the commercial break, it’s still time for "America’s Player." Who do you want Eric to campaign and vote for to win "Big Brother 8"? I want Eric to campaign and vote for Jameka to win "Big Brother 8." OK, OK, I know she’s not in the Final Two, and I should just move on. So, I guess my vote would be for Daniele.

We leave Dick and Daniele talking in the "Big Brother" house. "We did it!" says Dick. "The best team to have ever played this game. Janelle couldn’t even do it with her secret partner. Will couldn’t do it with Boogie. We did something no one could do. Danielle and Jason couldn’t do this. Nobody has done this. The best team to have ever played this game." And the most annoying one, too.

There are just two more episodes left, and all I have to say is, Thank God! What a long season it’s felt like! I’ve had dental fillings done that were less painful than watching some parts of this season.

"Big Brother 8," Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2007

After the recap, we learn it’s a special live eviction episode!

It’s Day 74, and only one more week until the winner is crowned. I just got the Miss America song stuck in my head.

At the nomination ceremony, Zach says Jameka has restored his faith with God. In the Diary Room, Dick says, "Zach saying that Jameka has helped restore my faith in God. It was all a lie in order to get on Jameka’s good side, and it really makes me sick." Vomit bags are located in the pouch in the seat in front of you, sir.

In the Diary Room, Daniele says, "Zach lied to us. There was a deal made with Zach to be final three. I’m upset that Zach went back on his word."

Dick, in the Diary Room, says: "Every single week of this game, me and Daniele have been a target. We had the hardest game than anyone else in this house."

Dick tells Zach he has no shot against him, Daniele or Jameka.

Says Jameka, "I feel bad about some of the things that I’ve said about Zach. I mean, it’s not to say some of them weren’t true," she says, eliciting a laugh from me. "But, In terms of teaming up, I think it’s a great idea."

In the Diary Room, Zach says of Dick, " ‘You’re gonna sling mud in my eye, I’m gonna sling mud in your eye.’ Oh, my God. I’d just love to have him eat his own words and go down in flames, just really go down in flames." Here’s mud in your eye, Zach.

After the commercial break, we go to the Jury House, to catch up with the evicted houseguests. I almost feel like I should be bringing a Bundt cake or some sort of cookies. Wow, it’s very cool house … there’s even a water slide.

Dustin, the first one in the jury house, greets the second member of the jury, Jen. "First thing I’m thinking to myself is I just wanna smack the girl because she evicted me after she promised me over and over and over again that she would be evicting Dick."

Jen says, "Dustin and I, we’ve had our issues. He nominated me, I evicted him. But we’re going to put all that aside and have a blast at the Jury House."

The next week, Amber arrives. Dustin asks her what she‘s doing there. "The vibe in the Jury House is such a relaxing, calm vibe and it’s going to be really nice to relax, enjoy good quality time with Jen and Dustin."

The next week, Jessica arrives at the Jury House, and Amber says, "I was shocked. I was happy in a way because she kind of got what she deserved because she got me and Dustin out. All that’s left in the house that’s a good person is Jameka."

No sooner is Jessica there, than Eric comes into the Jury House. "Eric showed up and he was definitely the last person I wanted to see walking in that kitchen. Eric is the funnest person to hang out with that was in that house. So, I know I’ll have a good time with him and we’ll really get to talk about everything that happened."

Dustin says of Eric, "Can’t really say that I feel as sorry for Eric as I do Jessica, but he’s a loser too, so welcome!"

The evicted houseguests watch the last Veto Competition.

Says Dustin, "If Jameka can pull it together, she can be in the final two. No one in this house will be happy to see Dick or Daniele win. I can only hope that Zach and Jameka try and bond together, you know, and overthrow the Denatos."

Eric says, "If Zach has any brain, which I don’t think he does, he will understand it."

After the commercial break, it’s time for the Veto Competition

Jameka and Zach quiz each other on possible topics for the Veto Competition.

Dick tells Daniele, "If we’can’t beat these two idiots, we deserve to go home."

In the Diary Room, Daniele says, "Everything depends on this veto, because I know I’m the person that they’re going after. It’s win, or go home."

Zach and Jameka pray about the upcoming Veto Competition.

Zach: "This is now like a war. Jameka and myself felt like we’re on the good side, trying to extinguish the evil. Winning the Power of Veto guarantees that Daniele is going home.

Dick says, "This is the two of us against Zach and Jameka. Zach drew the line in the sand and he found himself on the wrong side of the Denados. This is do or die.

The final Veto Competition is called Big Brother Decoder. There are 8 clues and in between two clues go one picture. Both clues have to match up with that particular person. When they figure that out, they turn the wheel in the middle to that particular evicted houseguest’s face. Each face had a corresponding number. That was the number they take the cardboard and put it underneath.

Zach says, "I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I just sat there and tried to figure things out. I just figured if I could get one face out of the way, so to speak, and one number, then I could just keep moving down the road."

Says Zach, "There were so many different variables between understanding how the clues were supposed to work, how the numbers associated with the faces. As soon as I had, I think it was Kail, with both clues matching to her, the light bulb went on. Man, this is how the game was supposed to be played. I’ve been brainfarting for the first couple of minutes in this game."

Daniele wins the Power of Veto and screams so loud she could break glass. Jameka says, "I’m going home!"

In the Diary Room, Daniele says, "Wow, wow, wow, wow. It feels amazing. Number five. I’m so excited. Not only was this the last Veto Competition, it was the most important Veto Competition. I’m so happy, it’s absolutely amazing.

Dick yells at Zach that he’s not even going to be in the Final Two.

Jameka says, "By no means am I sorry that I lost to one of the toughest competitors. I’m mad that things didn’t work out differently. But, you know, I have no one to play but myself."

Dick yells more at Zach for turning on him and Daniele. Zach says, "I’m going to have to put up with a overgrown 12-year-old for another week. But I’m not scared of Dick. I’m bigger than he is, I’m smarter than he is. I feel like my mind is like a samaurai sword.

Daniele says, "Determination is all that you need in this game. Sorry, Zach, but there’s no way you’re getting rid of me that easy, not a chance."

Dick is just wayyyy to excited and boastful. Alright, Dick, calm down, cowboy.

Julie talks with the houseguests:

Julie says that Dick has admitted one of his tactics is to unnerve the other players prior to competition. But, with Zach, he waited until after the competition, and asked him why, to which Dick responds, "There were just some things that needed to be said. And I wanted to bring it out and make sure everyone out there knows what’s up."

After the commercial break, it’s the live veto meeting and eviction

Daniele choses to use the Power of Veto on Dick, and so Jameka goes up against Daniele.

They now get the chance to plead their case.

Jameka, "Well, I have been here 74 days, and I have enjoyed my experience with all of you all. I understand that everybody has played this game on their own agenda. So, that should not stop on tonight. So, E.D., you do whatever you need to do and I’m sure that’s not going to be a hard decision. But, nonetheless, I thank you all for this opportunity and experience."

Daniele says, "One speech I’m not used to. You know, what can I say? I had a great experience here." She says to Dick, "If you don’t use it on me, maybe I won’t talk to you for another couple of years. You know, do what you must."

Dick votes to evict Jameka.

Dick thanks Daniele for using the Power of Veto on him and he was very surprised by her doing that.

Outside the "Big Brother" house, Julie asks Jameka if her friendship with Zach will continue outside the house. "It would be nice, you know. I don’t see any phone calls, you know, being made. But you know, occasional e-mail here and there to check up on each other and see how we’re doing in our lives."

Julie asks Jameka about how Dick said attacking Jameka’s faith was merely strategy. Jameka said, "I do accept that. In the terms of how he played this game, it’s not surprising, it’s not shocking. It was to be expected. It did cut really down into my soul, into the core of my heart. You know, it’s his strategy and he has to do what he has to do to advance himself in the game."

We then see Jameka’s goodbye messages

Daniele said, "Jameka, unfortunately this week, what can I say? I can’t vote out my Dad. I really enjoyed spending time with you this summer. I know that we had our ups and downs, but overall, I’m really glad that I got time to get to know you a little better and I’m really sorry it had to end here."

Says Dick, "It has been a pleasure here getting to know you. Having fun and games in quarters and LNC and all kinds of stuff. I wish I could say I’m sorry to say you go, but in the circumstance as it is right now, I can’t say that, because it then would either be me or Daniele."

Zach says, "I’m finally am grateful to give you the chance to truly fight back in this game. And happy to have the last few days to really get to know you and understand that we’re pretty similar in many ways. And I wish you the best."

Jameka learns that her sister has had her baby

After the commercial break, it’s time for the final HOH competition. Woohoo!!

The final Head of Household competition, is called "The Bunny Hop." The current Head of Household may play in this game. This will be played in three parts over the next couple of days. Winner of Round 1 will advance to Round 3. The two other houseguests will compete in Route 2. The winner of the first two rounds will compete in Round 3.

The houseguests have to climb on a carrot perch, then grab a hanging key, which they have to hold at all times. There’s a little white rabbit, and they have to jump over him each time he goes by them on the track. If they let go of their key, fall off their carrot or stop the rabbit from moving forward, they are eliminated.

After commercial break, it starts to rain. We leave the houseguests competing in the rain.

"Big Brother 8," Sunday, Sept. 9, 2007

After the last episode, dubbed "Big Brother Fast Forward," it seems like we’re seeing a lot of the same scenes at the beginning of this show we saw last time, so I’m dubbing this one "Big Brother Slow Rewind."

After the recap, it’s Day 69.

But, wait, Eric is still here. We’re still recapping. Let’s cap again, like we did last summer. (No, wait, that’s Chubby Checker and the twist, not "Big Brother" and the recap.)

In the "Diary Room," Dick says, "I believe that the entire state of Kansas hates the Denatos right now." Oh, come on, Dick. Don’t sell yourselves short. My guess most of the 50 states are not thrilled with you. South America, Asia and Africa might be on that list, too.

Two-faced Daniele tells Eric, "It was seriously a last minute decision. Like I’m sick about it. Like, I don’t feel good. I don’t feel good in many ways. I’m like shaking right now." Like, she’s lying through her teeth, Eric. In the next breath, in the "Diary Room, "she says, "Honestly, I had no sympathy for Eric. It’s just all strategic. It’s nothing personal." Yeah, yeah, let’s blame everything on strategy--why not, as Milli Vanilli once suggested, blame it on the rain?

Dick pulls Jameka aside and makes a deal with her. Dick tells her, "If we vote to keep you in, you get HOH, you do not put me and Daniele up together. The next two weeks, anything that you have is ours. You don’t have a vote, it’s ours. And that will carry you to the final three." Dick asks her if she promises on the Bible, and she tells him her word is all she has.

After Zach wins the Power of Veto, Daniele promises Jameka she’s not going home. But, in the Diary Room, Jameka says, "I generally don’t put too much stock in anything that E.D. or Daniele says, but I honestly felt like I would still be here when it was all said and done." I hope so, Jameka.

As we already know, Zach chose to not use the Power of Veto. "At the last second, I said, ya know, I’ve gotta keep them involved one more time in hopes that I can win HOH and really start upsetting the game."

"When Eric left," Jameka said, "It finalized the whole mentality of I’m on my own in this game. And I’m gonna do the best that I can. And I’m going to decrease and let God increase and just let Him do His thing. And I hope I end up pulling this thing out."

"This rules. This is so awesome. I’m so excited, I’m thrilled. I can’t be any happier. With the agreements that we have with Zach and with Jameka, we’re both in the Final Three. Guaranteed," says Dick

Daniele whispers to Dick that Zach has to go. "But then we‘ll like betray everybody … I just think that‘s so funny." Yeah, yeah, hardy har har. Zach, who‘s in the next room, tells them they better not send him packing.

Says Daniele, "Zach’s an interesting guy. I describe him as the friend on your cell phone where every time he calls you ignore it and then listen to his voice mail. Obviously, he’s gotten this far honestly being drug along by me and my Dad."

After the commercial break, the houseguests find the memory wall has been changed to 14 new pictures. They have to study the pictures for the next HOH competition.

Daniele says, "I want it so bad. It’s funny because Week 2, I probably could care less if my Dad went home or not. You know, I never thought I would wanna work this hard for me and for him."

The HOH competition is called, "Picture This." The houseguests will be answered a series of questions based on the photos which recently appeared on the Memory Wall. The first person to answer 7 questions correctly wins Head of Household. Jameka is out first, leaving Zach and Daniele to fight it out. The tie-breaker question: "What was the total number of houseguests in the 13 competition pictures on the Memory Wall?" Daniele answers 58, Zach answers 59. The correct number is 69. Zach wins Head of Household.

Daniele retreats to the bedroom, followed by Dick to console her. I’m not noticing the conversation as much as I’m noticing how dark her roots are. I guess there’s no Miss Clairol in the "Big Brother" house. (Although Dick could be hording it all and is refusing to share.)

After the commercial break, the houseguests get to see Zach’s Head of Household bedroom and more photos. "What’s up with the ears and the hair?" Dick asks, looking at a picture of Zach’s family. What’s up with the hair? Dick, have you looked in the mirror lately? "I don’t think anyone really wanted to go up there. We were just up there last week. It was just a bunch of bitter grapes up there that didn’t really care this time around," said Daniele.

Zach gets emotional reading his letter from home.

Dick tells Zach Daniele is bummed because if Jameka wins the Power of Veto, Daniele is going to go home. Dick tells Zach they have to get Jameka out.

Dick says to Zach, "I would prefer going up against you or Daniele in the Final Two, than Jameka."

"This is kind of where the line in the sand, so to speak, is drawn. If I don’t put Dick or Daniele up on the block, then I’ve got two Denado’s in the Final Three that I have to deal with," says Zach.

Zach tells Jameka that he wants to put up Dick and Daniele for eviction, and that Jameka needs to play her butt off for Power of Veto.

After the commercial break, Daniele goes to Zach and asks him if he’s going to put up Jameka. He tells her he has no idea. "Anyone against my Dad won’t win either. There’s no chance. Are you kidding me? He has played the best game, hands down."

In the Diary Room, Daniele says, "Zach honest to God thinks that he’s going to win this game. Aha. It’s amazing. Like what game are you playing because I’m not playing the same game as you." Anyone for a rousing game of pin the tail on the houseguest?

Daniele tells Dick she thinks Zach is going to put both of them up, and Dick tells her they need to win the POV.

"This guy is so stupid!" says Dick of Zach. "He couldn’t figure out how to get his underwear on if his Mommy didn’t help him in the morning."

Dick tells Zach Daniele’s had Zach’s back since Nick left the game. Zach tells him when you’re in the Final Four, you have to do what you think is best for yourself.

After the commercial break, it’s time for the Nomination Ceremony. Zach nominates Dick and Daniele for eviction because they "both rule in this game." He tells Dick and Daniele, "Nobody had the stones to truly try and muscle you guys out, well, I’m the muscle and I’m going to try and muscle you out."

Jameka looks stunned. "I am very excited. The fact that Zach’s the person that I would least expect to look out for me is just humbling."

Zach says, "I definitely, without a doubt, put my neck on the line, putting both Dick and Daniele up on the block. And I have to win this Power of Veto It’s the only shot It’s the only shot that guarantees one of the two of them are going home."

Daniele says, "Zach is a very cocky person, going to the Veto Competition thinking that you’re going to smoke us because it’s only going to ruin you. It just makes you want to win just to shove it in his face. It’s going to be brutal, to put it lightly."

"It might be the Final Three, but it’s really not," says Dick. "We win the POV, we win the game. Don’t you get it? Zach is not winning this game. No way!"

"Big Brother 8," Sept. 6, 2007

It’s Day 69, and it’s a double-eviction night, yes, it’s "Big Brother" fast-forward. A full week’s game will be played in an hour … I’m going to need a double mocha latte, but I guess I’ll have to settle for a couple of cans of Monster energy drinks.

We hear from the two nominees currently on the chopping block.

Jameka says, "I consider Jessica one of my good friends in the house and will I be campaigning to stay against her? Absolutely not. If that’s my demise and my downfall in this game, then so be it."

Says Jessica, "Dick and Daniele, I had the opportunity to get rid of them last week, two times, and I didn’t. And I hope that they’ll pay me back by keeping me here." You know what they say about payback, Jess, it’s a, it’s a, well, it rhymes with witch.

Dick and Daniele talk. Dick tells her Jessica has to go this week.

Dick, in the Diary room says, "This week, with mine and Daniele’s vote, the two votes out of three that are going to be cast, me and Daniele decide who goes … Jameka’s feeling a little bit too secure. I’m gonna let her know that ‘You’re going home this week so you can say your goodbyes and everything else.’ And then 10 minutes before the live show, I’m gonna to pull her aside and offer her a deal. And I’m sure she’ll take it." Well, Dick, if you don’t wind up the winner of "Big Brother 8," you could always get a job as Monty Hall.

So, Dick tells Jameka they’re going to send her to the Jury House this week. In the Diary Room, Jameka says she’s not ready to go home.

Jessica is stressing out about being on the block, but Eric reassures Jessica she’s going to be safe this week. "I feel confident that Jessica is going to be safe this week. She has nothing to worry about. Dick and Daniele are going to come through with their word." Want to make a bet on that, Eric?

It’s time for the "America’s Player" results: Which of the two nominees do you want Eric to get evicted from the "Big Brother" house. America chooses Jameka

Says Eric, "Thank God!…That is a big, big relief. If I want any chance of making it to the final two, and America making it to the final two, I need Jessica fighting this battle by my side." Yes, it’s "Eric and Jessica Save the World." Be sure to pick up your capes and cowls from the dry cleaners, Eric.

Eric asks Daniele if Jessica is going to be leaving this week, and Daniele says no. He tells Daniele he’s having a "mini-freak-out" and Daniele tells him, "Chill out, you freak!"

With the houseguests gathered in the living room, Julie tells them that it’s "Big Brother" fast-forward and there will be two evictions, and the final four will remain at the end of the night.

The two nominees get to plead their case.

Jameka says, "As I have stated before, being in this game, I have enjoyed my time here. I hope that my time here is not ending tonight. I’ve made some good decisions and not so good decisions in this game, but one thing has remained the same that I’ve given my word and once you have that, you know that’s a guarantee regardless, so with that said, I know that in this game, you know, strategic first, conversations later, so I hope that I’m still here." I hope so, too.

Jessica says, "I thought walking through the door, to find out that my rival from high school would be the hardest week ever in the house, but this has actually been the hardest week sitting next to Jameka, who I’m so close with, but if it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go, if it’s my time to stay, I’m happy with that and may the best person win."

Now time for the live vote. As Head of Household, Zach cannot vote; neither can the two nominees.

As "America’s Player," Eric votes for Jameka. Julie tells him America will still be voting tonight who they want Eric to target for eviction. After the next Head of Household competition, Julie will ask one of the houseguests to lead them all back into the house. That will be the houseguest America wants Eric to target for nominations.

Dick and Daniele vote to evict Jessica. (And I’ve just noticed how white Daniele’s teeth are.)

By a vote of 2 to 1, Jessica is evicted from the "Big Brother" house. Feel free to join me in a collective, "Wooohooo!" Woooooooohoooooooooooo! (I will definitely not miss the way she vocally strangles the word "and" in her sentences.)

After the light in his life departs the "Big Brother" house, Eric says, "I’m not surprised, I understand … The only thing is, Daniele, when I asked, you could have just told me. There was nothing we could have done to change it. That’s honestly the only complaint I have. I just asked for two days with her if I knew, you know, that she was going to go, and there was nothing we could have done to campaign or change the votes anyway, the votes were there. Either way, I would have liked to have the time and known."

Jessica talks with Julie outside the "Big Brother" house. Julie asks her why she didn’t go with her gut instinct to campaign to stay in the house.

Jessica said, "Campaigning wouldn’t do anything. I knew I couldn’t trust (Dick and Daniele) and I thought I could. Maybe it was last second, like when they realized it was going to be double eviction that they decided to get me out because I was such a strong competitor. I think they were seriously afraid of me." That’s what I think, too. Not!

Jessica talks about Eric. "I love Eric. He has been so good to me in the house, and maybe something outside of the house, who knows." She tells Julie her feelings for him were real.

Among Jessica’s goodbye messages, a choked-up Eric says, "I don’t think you know how much I need you here and how much I want you here. I am going to be a maniac for as long as I stay, fighting for your honor. Jessica, I love you!"

America votes live during the commercial break. Which houseguest do you want Eric to get nominated? If Eric is head of household, he will nominate the highest vote-getter. But if the highest vote-getter is the Head of Household, Eric will nominate the second highest vote getter. I vote to nominate Dick for eviction. (The choices are getting tougher now).

After the commercial break, it’s time for the next HOH competition, "Before or After." As current HOH, Zach is not eligible to compete. And Jameka gave up the right to compete in five weeks of HOH competitions in a prior HOH competition. This is week number 5.

In this HOH competition, Julie will name two events that occurred this summer. They must decide which came before and which came after the other. There will be eight questions. The houseguest with the highest number of correct answers will be the new Head of Household. I’ve been watching and re-watching this show religiously, and I still had trouble with the questions. Maybe I’m just not good with tests. Oh, the pressure. In the end, Evel Dick wins Head of Household.

America wants Eric to get Daniele to get nominated for eviction. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, like THAT’S going to happen with Dick as Head of Household.

After the commercial break, Dick nominates Jameka and Eric for eviction. (See, told you it wasn’t going to happen). "Sorry, it is all game," says Dick.

After yet another commercial break, it’s the Veto Competition. Niagara Balls. More than 5,000 rubber balls will pour down on them. (787 pounds of rubber raining down on them). They must collect only the green balls and stack them in a clear tube. The first houseguest to fill their tube with eight green balls and press the button on their podium will win the Power of Veto. Jameka is disqualified with a blue ball in her tube, and Jameka says she did not put that in there. Zach wins the Power of Veto.

After the commercial break, it’s time for the Veto Meeting. The two nominees get to plead their case.

Jameka says, "I just want to say that I’m not ready to go home yet. I have a lot that I feel I can still contribute to the house and I hope you take that into consideration."

Says Eric: "This house, these games, these people. Zach, I have no expectation that you’re going to use this, but vote smart guys. I have no friends on this jury, I haven’t won a competition in weeks, give me a fair chance to play this game."

Zach choses not to use the power of veto.

After yet ANOTHER commerical break, Jameka and Eric have another chance to plead their case

Jameka says, "I would like to say that being on the block this many times is not fun. It’s not something I’m enjoying. But, at the same time, it is how this game works and I understand that. I want you to not only vote in terms of who is going be the person who will further advance you in this game, but keep into consideration that I have kept my word, I’m a woman of my word, and I still stand by that."

Eric says, "Obviously I’m disappointed and surprised to be in this position right now. All I can say to the three of you the power is in your hands. If you actually run through your collective minds right now, you will see that I’ve been good to the three of you in this game. Any word I have given you I have stuck to. I had the opportunity to eliminate all three of you in this game and I chose not to because I did believe in what you were saying to me. Obviously, to some degree, that trust was breached earlier this evening, but I’ve been good to you, be good to me. Give me a fair chance."

It’s now time for the live vote: The two nominees cannot vote. In the event of a tie, Dick will break the tie.

Both Zach and Daniele vote to evict Eric

By a vote of 2-0, Eric is evicted from the "Big Brother" house

Eric says, "I’m not leaving with sour grapes." As Eric is leaving, Daniele says, "Send Jen our regards." Eric replies, "I will. Hopefully she’s dead by shark attack."

Eric, "America’s Player," says things would have unfolded very differently if he had his complete say in the matter.

Eric says his relationship with Jessica was not a "showmance." "It was genuine honest feelings. It was in no way part of my game whatsoever. It was a greatly pleasant surprise and something wonderful that I found in this house that I never expected … She was a perfect partner, tried and true. I’m just sad that my role as "America’s Player" may have compromised her position in this house, as well as being my ally."

For being "America’s Player," Eric leaves the house with $40,000 and is off to the Jury House.

As we leave the houseguests talking in the kitchen, I’m noticing the HUGE kitchen tools hanging on the wall--a potato peeler, a can opener and a whisk. I’m surprised no one has grabbed on of these and wielded them in a fit of anger. Then, again, the season’s not over yet.

"Big Brother 8," Tuesday, Sept. 4, 2007

And so this blog entry begins in just about the same way as most of the other blog entries …. After the recap, it’s Day 63 in the "Big Brother" house. (Except, of course, the number of days has changed.)

Having nominated Jessica and Jameka for eviction, Head of Household Zach says, "I am judge, jury and prosecutor to either one of them, so I’m kind of like the dream crusher." Well, Zach, if you don’t win on "Big Brother," you could always enter the WWF under the name "Dream Crusher."

Says Jameka: "I thought the Nomination Ceremony was full of …" Sugar and spice, and everything nice? Somehow, I don’t think that’s what’s she’s saying. "It would have been strategic for him to put up E.D. and Daniele. My instinct continues to tell me that Zach is in something with E.D. and Daniele."

Jessica says she doesn’t believe Zach when he said he didn’t hold last week against her and wished she had pushed harder for Zach to leave last week, so she wouldn’t be on the block this week.

Eric says of Jessica, "I’ve let her down. This is EXACTLY what she was afraid of. She listened to me, and now she’s in this situation." Good going, Eric.

Jessica and Jameka talk. Jessica says it’s bad Zach feels threatened by two girls. They both agree Eric has to win the Power of Veto this week. Jameka tells Jessica she wants to be in the Final Three with her.

Daniele and Zach talk about the way Jess was looking at Zach during nominations.

Daniele says, "Tomorrow will be very, very interesting … the worse case scenario would be if Eric won it. Anything else would be fine."

Eric tells Jameka he feels responsible for the nominations. "I feel like everything I do is wrong all the time. It’s either wrong in the game, wrong personally, wrong for my interests verses someone else’s versus whatever. I’m juggling things beyond the scope of this game that frankly, you know, may mean more to me than the game itself. I mean, I really care about her a lot," he says of Jessica. "I just feel like such a heel … and I’m going to lose the game and I’m going to lose the personal relationships." Who knows, Eric? You could be wrong.

In the "Diary Room," Eric says, "I’m America’s Player, and I’m doing what I need to do to support America and make my way through this game. But, here I am in a situation where I feel like I’m going to hurt someone. This is my absolute dream to be here, and it’s turning into a complete nightmare for me right now." Nightmare? Nightmare? Oh, puh-leeze. You wanna talk nightmare? Try 37 "Big Brother 8" blog entries. Or Eric, armed with giant containers of mustard, on a vandalism spree.

Jessica relates how at a Girl Scout convention, she was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. "And I said, ‘The first female President of the United States’ and they’re like ‘Yeah!‘ or a waitress.’"

In the "Diary Room," Daniele says, "I’ve been a waitress since I was 17. I love my job. It’s fun, it’s easy, the money’s good. You know, I love working with people."

Dick counters, "I want to be President … or a stripper. I’m not sure which." And Daniele shoots back, "Yes, because being a waitress is just like being a stripper." Dick says, "I didn’t mean it like that AT ALL." And, of course, Daniele leaves the table.

(Frankly, I’d chose President. If I chose stripper, I’d die in poverty.)

In the "Diary Room," Daniele says, "I found his comment to be extremely rude. And I’m the type of person, I’m gonna stick up for myself. And I that think it makes him really mad that, you know, I’ll put him in his place."

Dick goes to talk with Daniele in her bedroom and tells her that comment wasn’t directed at her. (By the way, the bedroom is a mess, with clothes all over the place. C’mon guys, you’re there 24-7, can’t you find time to put your clothes away?) Daniele gives him attitude, and Dick says, "Can’t you speak to me like a normal person, instead of like such a snot?" Daniele tells him to shut up, and Dick says, "The answer is ‘no.’"

In the "Diary Room," Dick says, "I can’t stand the way that she talks to me and the way that she treats me. Does she even see how she speaks to me? Does she think that ‘What?’ is the same as ‘Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?’"

Eric and Jessica talk. Eric tells her the best scenario is for him, or Jessica, to win the Power of Veto. She tells him she doesn’t trust Dick and Daniele: Eric tells her, "I don’t trust anyone other than you." Eric says they need their votes, and Jessica says the only thing that kills her is she wanted Amber to stay.

After the commercial break, we see Janelle from two previous "Big Brother" seasons, enter the backyard.

It’s then time for the Power of Veto competition. The houseguests head outside. "When the sliding glass door opened," Daniele says, "it was like a pink bedroom. There was a big TV screen in the middle, there was a chair that looked like it spun around, and there was rose petals. I loved it, it was so cute."

The houseguests look at a screen, and see a picture of a former houseguest morphing. They try to guess who it is. "It looks like Miss Piggy meets Janelle. That must be her after the weight gain," Eric says. And, right after that, Janelle emerges. You can take your foot out of your mouth any time now, Eric.

The rules of the competition are then explained: The houseguests have to sit in the revolving chair for 60 seconds, then have to make their way to the Janellivision screen. They have to guess the names of the two houseguests whose faces are combined on the screen.

When it’s Dick’s turn, "Janelle standing next to me while I’m doing this, yes, it was a distraction." He says to the houseguests, who can’t see the person competing, "I’m not even trying. We’re just back here making out." Daniele retorts, "Janelle’s smarter than that."

As Dick and Janelle are about to go through the door, he says "After you" and Janelle says he’s such a gentleman, and, of course, the other houseguests (and most of the rest of America) crack up.

Zach says, "Dick was beaming for her. It was like a 16-year-old guy getting ready for prom all over again, except he’s 44-years-old."

When it was Eric’s turn, he says, "I wanted and needed this veto win badly. I want to be defending myself, I want to be defending Jess. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I needed this veto win badly to assure that Jessica and I would be guaranteed another week in this house playing together." Remember, Eric, always lift the weight of world on your shoulders with your knees, not with your back.

At the end of the competition, with a score of 7, Daniele wins the Power of Veto.

Daniele says, "Having this Power of Veto, I have the power to send Eric home, to send Jessica home, or to send Jameka home. You never know what’s going to happen." Ohhhhh, yes, I do. I’ve already watched the tape. Neener, neener, neener.

After the commercial break, Daniele and Zach talk in the HOH room about possibly sending Jessica home this week.

Jessica’s ticked. Eric tells her he’s not going to let her leave the house. No snuggling for Eric and Jess tonight. Jess tells him she’s going to sleep (alone) and Eric says he’ll leave her alone and splits. (Yup, Cher was right …sooner or later, we all sleep alone.)

In the "Diary Room," an obviously smitten (or just plain sexually deprived) Dick says, "Two months of being deprived and the one girl that I get a chance to flirt with is the beautiful, gorgeous Janelle." Dick tells Daniele and Zach Janelle told him he was "hot."

Daniele says, "When Janelle told my Dad, ‘You’re hot!’ I was like, "Ughhh, like have you been watching the show?’ It was absolutely ridiculous. It made me throw up in my mouth a little." Just a little?

Dick says, "I got so gypped coming in here. There’s the skanky Jen, horse-faced Amber, so yeah, seeing Janelle is just like, ‘Right on!’ We were totally flirting back and forth. It wasn’t one-sided, it was back and forth."

"Everything is fine with Dick and Daniele," Eric says. "They are on our side. Jameka is gonna go home and Jessica is going to be here to fight another week." Thank you, Batman.

Dick says, "Eric is confident that our alliance is set and strong. But overconfidence has been the downfall of quite a few people in this game. Me and Daniele hold the power to send anyone home that we want." Anyone? Can you send them to bed, too? Because I’m ready to go.

Eric and Jess talk for a bit and then get frisky (ohhhh, I’m having a Marion and Howard Cunningham "Happy Days" flashback). And then … we go to commercial.

After the commercial break, it’s time for the "America’s Player" poll results. Eric must mimic the actions and words of the houseguest America has chosen for him. America chooses Dick. Eric has a lot of fun mimicking Dick, and he completes his assignment with no problem.

Alone with Dick in the backyard, Daniele says, "Eric’s played the mastermind type of game. But, it’s been like a dirty, deceitful, manipulating game, where both of us have played more of a strategic, competitive game."

In the "Diary Room," Dick says, "This is really the first time that we really considered betraying the alliance. I’m not the type of person that in life goes and screws people over."

"If you’re going to do it, period, it doesn’t matter when, it’s still going to held against us. No matter what. That’s the thing. It’s either do it, or don’t do it, period. If you’re going to do it, do it this week. If not, then we’re not doing it. We have to do whatever it takes that’s going to take us farther," says Daniele.

After the commercial break, Daniele says, "Holding the veto this week, my options are absolutely plentiful. I need to decide what would be better for me, and for my Dad."

Jessica says, "I’d be really happy if the veto was used on me and Eric went up on the block. How do I know that Dick and Daniele aren’t going to cast their votes to get me out? I’d much rather have him be in that position than me."

"Best case scenario would be for Daniele to use the Power of Veto, and have Zach put up E.D.," Jameka says.

Eric says, "I think Daniele would be making a mistake to use the Power of Veto. I need and want to have Jess in this game, the four person alliance needs and wants to have Jess in this game. We’ve got to target Jameka for eviction, send her…home, and be done with it."

It’s time for the Veto Meeting. As always, the two nominees get to plead their case.

Jameka says, "I am excited and grateful that I’ve been here this far, especially with the five HOH’s, and, with that said, I would love for you to use the Power of Veto on me, but at the same time, if that is not your decision, I will respect that."

Jessica says, "Being on the nomination block, it’s a difficult situation. I respect all of you, because you’ve all been here and you’ve all survived the block. And it’s really hard being the first time sitting next to Jameka, someone that I am very close with in the house. So I’m not going to say anything to against her, but if you feel it’s necessary to use the veto on me, that would be nice, if not, I understand."

Daniele choses not to use the Power of Veto this week.

"I’m not ready to go, to leave the game," says Jameka. "I am worth still being here in this house. I still have fight in me. When it really, really needs to be there, it will be there."

Jessica says, "My fate is in Dick and Daniele’s hands this week. But, the entire time I’ve been aligned with Dick and Daniele, I’ve questioned it and not trusted them at all."

"I’m looking out for myself, and I’m looking out for my Dad. And that’s what’s most important," says Daniele. "It’s just a matter of timing and deciding what would be the best move."

Don’t miss the special double eviction episode live on Thursday.

And, finally, it‘s time for the "America’s Player" question: Which of the two nominees do you want Eric to get evicted from the "Big Brother" house? Here’s a shocker … I’m voting to have Eric evict …. Jessica. If I have to sit through another week of listening to that grating voice, I’m going to pull my hair out. And no one wants that, trust me.

"Big Brother 8," Sunday, Sept. 2, 2007

These episodes just keep going and going, like the Energizer Bunny.

In the last episode, Amber was evicted from the "Big Brother" house. When she’s leaving, Amber tells Daniele beware of Eric. (Why, does he have bad breath?)

Daniele says, "It is kind of funny that she’d tell me, you know, ‘Beware of Eric.’ I think I told Amber that three or four weeks ago. I think it’s absolutely hysterical that nobody has any idea of what’s going on, between Eric, Jessica, my Dad and myself."

After the recap, it’s Day 62 in the "Big Brother" house.

Eric says, "In looking at the eviction, I was really satisfied with what happened. Voting Amber out was what America wanted, it’s what I wanted, and I was happy to see her go." I’m with you there, Eric.

When we last left the houseguests, they were competing in the Head of Household competition, running down a slick track with little cups of water.

Dick says, "My legs feel like wet spaghetti noodles right now. I can barely stand up. I’m 14 years older than the oldest person here. I don’t work out. And I smoke." And, don’t forget, you spit.

Dick says, "Going into the competition, we’re all feeling pretty good. It’s three against one. We’re feeling pretty confident that we should pull HOH and really do whatever we want at that point, kind of control the game."

On the sidelines, Jameka’s standing there watching it all. With the look on her face, she reminds me of Catwoman watching her henchmen fight. I’m waiting for her to bare her nails and hiss like a cat.

Daniele says, "My strides are so short ’cause my legs are so little and I felt like a rabbit, like galloping so fast. Aren’t horses the ones that gallop? Don’t rabbits hop? Could be a new dance at weddings, the Bunny Gallop.

Jessica then points out there is a small container in each of the houseguests’ lanes. The first houseguest to fill that container before the end of the game receives a phone call from home, or they can give that phone call to somebody else. Eric wins the phone call from home.

Two cups are then added to each of the lanes. For each cup used, the entire house will go on cold water for a day. "Ahhhh-haaaaa, I hate cold water," says Jessica in the Diary Room. You and me both, Jess. Nothing worse than ice cold water in the morning.

We see Dick scurrying down the track, saying "Feet, don’t fail me now." I can almost hear the cartoon sound effects of fast-running feet.

Dick reveals that an hour before the live show, he "really, really laid into Zach." Why? Because he had promised if Daniele went up, he would vote to get her out. Dick tells Zach he kept Zach off the block at least four or five times.

After the commercial break, the houseguests are still at the competition. In the Diary Room, Dick says, "The ball had to come out. There was no fishing it out, because your fingers wouldn’t fit inside to grab it. And I just kept saying to myself, "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, move, move, move, move, move." Don’t forget, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Says Dick, "I’ve got to win this thing in order to keep control in the house and keep our alliance in the driver’s seat." But, alas, Dick’s alliance is relegated to passenger when Zach wins the Head of Household competition.

Says Eric, "I am completely embarrassed and ashamed. Every dog has his day. And even this oaf and complete moron, I guess he had his."

In the Diary Room, "This is an absolute nightmare. I am devastated that Zach is the head of household and that this very may well come down on Jessica and make it a difficult week for her."

Eric, who won a phone call from home, debated whether to give the phone call to Jameka or Jessica. He gives the call to Jessica.

Eric says, "I spent the entire week trying to reassure Jessica that we made positive choices with our nominations. That keeping the nominees were correct. That Zach is a weak competitor and Zach cannot beat me, Dick and Daniele in any form of competition. She said, ‘Eric, I do not want to be nominated. He’s upset with me. He’s going to come after me.’ And I said, ‘It’s not going to happen. I won’t let it happen.’" Forget the cape and unitard, Eric. Better call for backup.

Daniele tells Dick that Zach is going to put up Jameka and Jessica for eviction.

Eric tells Jessica, "It’s going to be me and Jameka to leave. That’s the way we’re going to stay. It’s not how I want it but we should encourage that."

It’s time to see Zach’s HOH bedroom, and no one’s exactly running to go take a peek. Says Eric, "I’ve never five people more despondent to see someone’s HOH room in all eight seasons."

Zach tells Daniele he threatened him, "He raises his voice, he cusses at me." Daniele replies, "I…hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? You think that it’s for no reason that I haven’t talked to him for like 6 years of my life? He’s like one of those people who think that, you know, he deserves respect because he’s the adult." Zach counters, "But he’s noooot." Daniele says, "No. Exactly. Hellooo." Hello? Can you hear her now, Zach?

Zach: in the Diary Room, says, "Dick wants to always be in charge and be the LEADER of the house. Do I want to keep him in the house? Not so much. I mean, can you really trust a guy named Dick?" Not so much, Zach.

After the commercial break, Eric reveals he is desperate to tell Jessica he’s "America’s Player." Clark Kent felt the same way about revealing he was Superman to Lois Lane.

Eric tells Jess about the way he voted and about the mustard incident.

In the Diary Room, Jessica says, "There’s a lot more to Eric’s game play than I actually realized in the first place. It makes me wonder like, ‘Oh, what’s he doing now that I don’t know that he’s doing. But, I trust Eric still." Then why that look of doubt, Jess?

Jessica gets her phone call from her younger brother, Dean, who is just back from Iraq. As she’s talking to him, she says, "I wasn’t going to cry." Yeah, Amber said the same thing. We all know how THAT worked.

In the Diary Room, Jessica says, "I’m just so happy to know my brother and best friend are back in America. That was the hardest thing about me coming here was knowing that they were going to come back from Iraq and I wasn’t going to get to congratulate them on a job well done and thank you for serving our country and it’s just great to know they’re back." Later she says, "Just to know that my brother, who’s younger than me, has made it through. My brother is 20 years old, he’s been through war. I can make it through this house."

After the commercial break, it‘s time for the results of "America’s Player" question: Who should Eric get nominated? America picks Jameka. So, of course, Eric goes to Zach and tells him Jameka needs to go up on the block.

Daniele says, "If Zach were to nominate Eric and Jessica, and one of them were to go home, it would keep the blood off of my hands, the blood off of my Dad’s hands, and it would keep Zach safe at the same time." That’s a good thing. Blood can be a pain in the keyster to get off your hands. Need some heavy duty stuff for that stuff.

"If me and Daniele had no choice but to vote out either Jessica or Eric, they’re not going to know we really had a hand in the nominations," Dick says. "That would all fall on Zach, not on us."

We switch to the backyard and there’s Zach in the pool, swimming with a pair of his pants around his neck. What’s the matter, Zach? Couldn’t find an inner tube or a raft? "You ARE a freak," Daniele tells him. She tells him that if either Jessica or Eric don’t go home this week, Zach will be going home next week. Dick and Daniele promise Zach he will not be going home next week if they get HOH.

It’s time for the "America’s Player" question: Which houseguest should Eric mimic? I vote for Dick.

After the commercial break, it’s time for the Nomination Ceremony.

"Honestly, Zach is the person in the game where if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours," says Daniele. "I’ve been HOH twice, I haven’t put him up, so I feel very confident. And, honestly, I’m not worried whatsoever."

Jessica says, "I’m the only one who hasn’t been nominated. I’ve won two HOH’s. I nominated Zach last week. I have no doubt in my mind I’m going up on the block."

"With these nominations," Zach says, "it’s been a toss up on do I go with what I think is the right move for myself, or do I go with what others think is the right move for myself, in hopes that I’ll still live to fight another day?" You’re in good company, Zach. Batman has the same inner dialogue with himself all the time.

We find Zach has nominated Jameka and Jessica for eviction.

Zach tells Jameka, "My social situations with you haven’t evolved at this point. It’s been difficult to try to get to know you as a person and overall, you’ve made a lot of good relationships in this game. I’m completely threatened by that in the endgame for me." He then tells Jessica, "You did put me up. I don’t hold that against you. I understand why you did that. I also fear you in the endgame for me as well. Everybody likes you."

Jessica says, "I guess Zach should feel threatened by me. But, I thought it was just a cop out because he didn’t want to nominate Dick or Daniele."

"Zach is unbelievable and I cannot wait for the Veto Competition," Jameka says. "I’m fighting. I am fighting." Go get ‘em, Jameka.

Zach says, "I don’t feel remorse whatsoever for my nominations. ‘Cause it puts me in a better position in order to win this game in the end. Hopefully, I’ll conquer."

"Jessica is now nominated and I feel like it’s my fault," Eric says. "And I think like she feels like it’s my fault as well. And I couldn’t be more devastated by it." At least you don’t feel guilty, Eric.

"Big Brother 8," Thursday, Aug. 30, 2007

After the recap, it’s Day 62 in the house (I almost typed Day 26 …yikes!).

What the heck is Eric doing in the background as Julie is speaking? Looks like he’s doing a seated hula dance.

In the Diary Room, Amber says, "It’s just not fair. Eric’s looking out for Eric. Obviously, based on the decision he made today. It just shows that he’s here for only himself and he doesn’t care about anyone else in this game." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have our first "duh" moment of the episode. I’m sure it won’t be the last, either.

In his turn in the Diary Room, Zach says, "I’d like to think that I’ve established relationships with everybody in this house versus Amber, who has been seen as a floater, someone who truly can’t compete and I’m not going down without a fight." Can someone please play the theme from "Rocky"?

In the Head of Household bedroom, Eric and Jessica are alone. Jessica is upset because of her nominations. But, the best part of all … it sounds like she’s losing her voice. But, dang, it’s back the next minute. So much for my hopes of an early Christmas present.

Then…ding dong….is it Avon calling? No, it’s Amber …and…you know what I’m going to say … come on, say it with me ….it’s Amber and she’s …. crying.

Says Eric in the Diary Room, "Amber has one argument, and one argument only, the good people need to win the game. You know, I don’t know what to say to her. I’ve had enough of her crying and enough of her weak game play. Amber should be leaving the house on Thursday." I had it with her crying about week three, Eric. Your tolerance level is much higher than mine.

After Amber departs the HOH bedroom, Jessica tells Eric she wants to keep Amber in the game, but says she can tell Amber is going to be the one to go. We can only hope, Jessl.

We then go to Dick and Zach in the backyard. Dick, obviously having not read a single "Miss Manners" column, spits during their conversation as he tells Zach he is going to stay this week.

Back in the HOH Room, Jessica, Amber and Jameka talk about Eric. Amber says he’s scared to get HOH because there will be pictures of his girlfriend, which Jessica will see. Just sleep with your door locked and one eye open and you’ll be just fine, Eric.

Back in the Diary Room (I’m getting whiplash here, guys), Jessica says, "Amber started to put in my head, that you know, she should really stay this and bashed on Eric the entire conversation and said how bad he was, and I’ve been pretty much been aligned with him the entire time, and so I was like, I’m really kind of confused." I have the sinking suspicion this feeling of confusion is nothing new to her.

Amber and Jameka say that Amber needs to get Daniele’s vote, so of course, Amber goes to plead her case to Daniele. Amber swears on her daughter’s life that Amber wouldn’t put up Daniele if Amber got Head of Household. (Why do they do that? Why don’t they swear on something a little less controversial? "I swear on my library card!" or "I swear on these almost-expired grocery coupons."

It’s time for the results of the "America’s Player" question: Which one of the two nominees do you want Eric to get evicted from the "Big Brother" house. America picks Amber. Says Eric, "As expected, Amber is causing trouble yet masquerading as one of the ‘good people.’ She is self-righteous and she needs to get off her high horse and stop everyone she’s better than everyone else. And, Amber, you’re going home." Well, October is almost here. Amber can always dress up as one of the "good people" on Halloween.

Alone in the Head of Household Room, Eric asks Jessica what she, Amber and Jameka were talking about earlier. Eric tells Jessica he doesn’t have a girlfriend. And then Eric slings mud back in Amber’s direction. "Let’s keep in mind, she was also a drug user when she had a 5-year-old child and like addicted to serious drugs. So that fact that she sits here and talks about what a good person she is, I’ll tell you, I’ve never done any of those things, you’ve never done any of those things, let’s not get carried away." After all this "Big Brother" watching and blocking, I’m about ready to be carried away, by the guys in white coats. (Those that know me are probably astounded it hasn’t happened yet.)

The HOH bedroom needs a revolving door. Dick comes to visit Jessica and Eric. Dick tells them that Zach’s plan if he gets HOH is to put Jessica and Jameka up, and then backdooring Eric. Eric says that Zach told them that he would put up Dick and Daniele.

After the commercial break, we go live with the houseguests in the "Big Brother" living room.

Julie asks Jessica about the shopping spree competition where they all wound up getting naked. "I was really nervous, because I’m a pretty conservative girl when I’m back at home. But, after I took my clothes off, I was like, ‘Oh, it’s a whole new me.’ It was a lot of fun."

When Julie asks Daniele what she would have said to Nick if she had been able to see him on "The Power of 10," she responds: "1-5-3." When Julie asks if she could decode them for us, Daniele says, "No, he knows what it is." 153? The first three digits of her phone number? A hotel room number? 153 bottles of beer on the wall? 153 hours of blogging "Big Brother" episodes? C’mon guys, don’t leave me … and the rest of the viewers … in suspense.

There’s a viewer question for Dick: "Why do you spit so much." He replies, "I have no idea, Julie. It’s just, ah, I don’t know, like walkin’ and talkin’, really." Remind me to wear a wet suit if I ever wind up walking around Dick’s neighborhood.

We then see Jameka’s pastor and the congregation of her Church. "Jameka’s a great example of a Christian person," he declares.

We then hear from Jameka’s mother, Danita, "Her strong belief in her faith could be perceived as her weakness and people attack that, just like Dick did. But she is the type of person that will let you know when you’ve cross the line with her, and then the fiery side comes out." Her Mom also says, "I feel sorry for Dick, that maybe he’s just angry because he’s missing something in his life. Everybody doesn’t have the benefit of having a strong faith …Jameka praying for other people is her spirit speaking, it’s her genuine compassion. I know that she knows every time she prays, she’s connecting with God." Her Mom reveals Jameka’s third niece was just born. Someone pass me a cigar. OK, I don’t smoke … pass me a candy cigarette, then.

After the commercial break, we hear from Eric’s family and "the girl he left behind," says Julie. Says Josh, his older brother, "I’m optimistic that aligning with Dick and Daniele, Eric and Jessica have a foursome that can get themselves to the end .. I’m very much in favor of Eric and Jessica’s relationship both from strategic purposes and friendship and companionship separately."

We also hear from Cheryl, his on-again, off-again girlfriend. "Jessica and Eric in the house right now, they’re completely forming a bond," she says as she’s watching a clip of Jessica and Eric in a bubble bath (Jessica’s wearing a bikini top, so I’m assuming they both have swimming attire on). "The thing is, it’s like you can’t help but be a little jealous, you CAN’T, that’s just human NATURE …oh, now I’m going to cry." Me too.

Julie talks with Jessica in the HOH bedroom. Julie asks her if it comes down to Dick, Daniele, Eric and her in the final four, who will be the first one out. "Well, I think a lot of people think I’ll be the first one out, but I think a lot of people are underestimating how competitive of a person I am, so I’m going to try my best to make it to the end and make sure it’s someone else and not me."

Back to the living room, the two nominees get to plead their case.

Says Zach, "From Mad Hatters, to guitar smashers, to bunny suits. I’ve enjoyed many memories with all of you as you sit here in this place here we call Wonderland. I definitely would love to be a part of this house still and continue my journey down the rabbit hole." Just be careful Zach, Elmer Fudd may be hot on your trail.

Says Amber, "Alright, I’m going to try not to cry." I don’t think she’s gonna make it. "I just want to tell you guys that when I got picked to be a houseguest and come into this house, I had no idea it was going to be as hard as it is. I also didn’t know that I was going to build such unique, rare relationships with each and every one of you guys. I would love to stay here, but then again, if it’s in God’s plan for me to go, then I go today. And I just want you all to know I hold nothing against you guys. I think you guys are all very special people and I hold a special place in my heart for each and every one of you guys."

It’s now time for the live voting:Jameka votes to evict Zach; Eric, Dick, Daniele vote to evict Amber. (We learn Eric, as "America’s Player," has completed 17 out of 24 tasks and has earned $30,000 to date for it). By a vote of 3 to 1, Amber is evicted from the "Big Brother" house. Finally! Amber will get the bad news after the commercial break. When Amber is evicted, Jameka and Amber share a tearful farewell.

Talking with Julie Chen outside the "Big Brother" house, Amber says, "I think I was evicted because honestly nobody wants to be sitting next to me in the final two." Why, do you have cooties? "I have really good relationships with everyone. I think they were nervous that had I stayed, the numbers would have stayed on me, and Jameka’s side and Jessica, they would have felt me as a threat and I understand it’s a game." Amber tells Julie she thinks Eric had a lot to do with her eviction.

Amber feels there’s something in this for her, perhaps as a motivational speaker. Oh, my God! I’ve never heard of a crying motivational speaker. Amber could possible motivate me to stick my head in the oven. Unfortunately, it’s not a gas oven.

We see the houseguest’s goodbye messages to Amber. Nothing extremely outstanding here to report, so now it’s then time for the Head of Household competition. Jessica, the current HOH is not eligible to compete, neither is Jameka, who gave up her eligibility to compete. This is week four.

After the commercial break, it’s "The Big Brother Tea Party." They must transfer tea from a teapot filled with 55 gallons of tea to a tank at the opposite end. They have to put enough water in it to make a silver ball in the tank rise enough so they can get it. They will be transporting the water in a cup that only holds 3 ounces of tea and it takes 16 gallons to fill up the tank. That’s about 683 trips back and forth, or seven miles.

It’s time for "America’s Player" question: Which houseguest do you want Eric to get nominated? I’d vote for Jessica, but I know that’s not going to happen. So my next vote would be for Evel Dick.

When we come back from commercial break, the houseguests are still competing in the HOH competition. "Big Brother" then introduces a combination of corn oil and baby oil into the mix. Grease is the word, it’s got groove, it’s got meaning, and it makes transporting little cups of water difficult as all heck. We leave the houseguests still competing.

Two quick notes: "Big Brother" alum Janelle will host Tuesday’s "Power of Veto" competition; and next Thursday, it’s a double live eviction! A double eviction? That calls for a double "woohoo!"