"Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels" --8 p.m. Sundays, A&E

I wanna rock and roll all night, and party every day.

Unfortunately, I have to write this blog first.

I caught some of "Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels" recently. Actually it was a block of shows from 8 to 11 p.m.

I’m finding this show much more watchable than "The Osbournes." Gene’s coherent and easy to understand, whereas with Ozzy I needed subtitles. And I love Shannon Tweed, Gene’s longtime girlfriend. The bleeps in the language are fewer and far between. And I don’t want to send Nick and Sophie--Gene’s kids--off to reform school like I did Jack and Kelly Osbourne.

In the first episode, Shannon Tweed, Gene’s longtime girlfriend, plans a surprise wedding (it doesn‘t go down, though). In the second episode, Gene gets to spend a day with the biggest Gene Simmons fan, a winner of a radio contest. He tells Gene that Kiss got him through some tough times in school. He takes Gene miniature golfing. ("Honey, I’m miniature golfing with Gene Simmons," he says to his wife on the phone. Now that’s not something you hear every day. I’m sure Gene doesn’t hear that everyday, either.) Meanwhile, while Gene’s out, Shannon takes the opportunity to burn some of Gene’s old clothes.

I laughed for a good minute when, after Gene gave the fan a pack of Kiss condoms, the fan tells Shannon, "These are going in a special place." Somehow, I don’t think I’m interpreting it the way he meant it. Shannon also invites the fan in for dinner.

I love the Simmons’ mansion. I think CN bloggers should be provided with a crib just like that. Can you hear me, Gannett?? Hello??? Hello??? (Oh, well, was worth a shot).